Doctor Who Watch #3

Episode Three: Planet Of The Ood by Keith Temple

Without a shadow of a doubt, my favourite episode of the series so far. I love the Ood. I want to sit on their faces. All of them.

They are the best ‘new’ monsters since Doctor Who came back in 2005, and it was great to learn more about them. Tim McInenenenenenenrnnenenerny was brilliant as the Chief Baddie. Very three-dimensional, for a villain, showing a vulnerable side as well as a murderous, cold-hearted side. I was most pleased with myself when I guessed, within the first second of seeing him drink his hair tonic, that he would be turned into an Ood at some stage. Aren’t I clever?

Again, a thought-provoking episode that blows the likes of Partners In Crime out of the water. Commenting on the slave trade, the holocaust... Yet still being remarkably good fun. The Ood song moved me – and, it would seem, Donna – to tears. But the hints at what lies in store for the Doctor and Donna are really beginning to annoy me...“Your song must end”

No. Stop it. The Doctor and Donna should never be parted. They are the best double act ever! Best assistant, second-best Doctor... I love them. So it hurts knowing that something soon will tear them apart.

“There is something on your back”

Total Score: NINE out of TEN

Doctor Who Watch #2

Episode Two: The Fires Of Pompeii by James Moran (Or should that be James Moron. Oh, the wit!)

Yes, well... This one dragged a bit. The Sisterhood were dull and pointless, providing no real threat. I couldn’t stop picturing Phil Davies as Wilfred Brambell, which made his turn as Chief Baddie almost laughable. The Latin jokes went WAY over my head, as I don’t know any Latin. (Despite three Latin lessons at school with the lovely Miss Cornforth: “Get to the Naughty Table! Wayne, Kirsty... Stop bullying Craig”)

Donna convinced The Doctor to save Sid’s Dead Dad (the glorious Peter Capaldi) and the rest of his family. It was quite moving, and good to see her standing up to the Doctor. But if they should have died, and history was changed so they lived... Where were the Reapers? The whole point of Father’s Day (Series One) was that history had been changed by Rose saving her Dad from dying, and that was BAD. So why don’t the Reapers come to clean ‘The Wound In Time’ when the Doctor saves a whole family from the death that they were destined to have? Or am I misunderstanding the whole ‘Time-Space-Paradox-Bollox’ stuff?

Either way, I don’t get how the Doctor could have saved this family without consequence?

It was a moving episode though, and Catherine Tate was – again – fantastic as Donna. She made me shed a small tear. The last twenty minutes were gripping, thought-provoking and moving... But the slow start really stopped this from being as epic as it promised. A great episode, but not the classic it should have been.

Total Score: SEVEN out of TEN

Doctor Who Watch #1

Episode One: Partners In Crime by Russell T. Davies, who is a little bit gay.

I can’t recall looking forward to an episode quite as much as this one. After the rather awful Christmas special (Too many deaths, too little substance, too much Kylie and the spazziest baddie EVER!) I was looking forward to the start of the series proper. Especially after the seeing the trailer in the cinema, which made the excitement just too much to bear. In the event, I was a little disappointed.

It had been built it up so much, that I was expecting something amazing. As it was, all we got was another ‘First Episode’ – The one where everything has to be set up. The one where RTD makes us care about the new assistant. The one that establishes the dynamic between Doctor and assistant. A fun little episode that doesn’t even begin to compare to those that will no doubt follow.

(If you had the choice, would you rather watch Rose or The Empty Child…? That is clearly a rhetorical question. I don’t expect anyone to be sad enough to have even made it to this paragraph, let alone start answering the questions sprinkled within.)

Obviously, RTD can’t open a series – and lets not forget it IS a kids show – with a dark, sinister, frankly depressing episode like The Last Of The Time Lords. But a BIT of an edge wouldn’t have gone amiss.

The villains of the piece were so cute that it was hard to understand why the Doctor was trying to stop them. Ah, the Adipose. I want one. Someone buy me one. It can sit on my bed next to AlanYentob, looking all nice and cuddly.

Nice and cuddly… Not really want you want from a Doctor Who foe.

But there were still some things to enjoy. Lots, in fact. The first twenty minutes where the Doctor and Donna keep missing each other was a nice new take on the whole ‘Doctor meeting his assistant’ thing. And the silent conversation they have when they first clap eyes on each other did make me do an out-loud chuckle for a few seconds. Even if my lip-reading skills weren’t quite good enough to understand what the hell was going on.

Raquel from Coronation Street, doing her best impression of Jo Frost from Supernanny, was a really good baddie. Sinister and camp-as-arseholes… THAT is what you want from a Doctor Who foe! (Although if she’d searched high-and-low for somewhere that was as “Beautifully Fat” as the UK… Why the hell didn’t she try America?!)

Whoever thought to hire Bernard Cribbins to play Donna’s Granddad should be knighted for services to genius casting. If he’s not the new assistant for Series Five, I’m going to stop watching!

David Tennant did his usual bit. As good as always, but still not quite Christopher Eccleston. And as for Catherine Tate…The thing about hiring a woman like Catherine Tate is that she is not as conventionally attractive as Billie Piper or that other bint. Most TV Critics are sleazy, smug old men who judge a programme, not on its quality, but on how pretty the cast are. So suddenly the reviews for this series have been a lot less glowing… Slating the whole of Doctor Who, just because they don’t want to bash one out over Catherine Tate.

I think she’s fucking wonderful though. She’s toned down the ‘Shouty Old Harridan’ act since the last time we saw her in the 2006 Christmas Special (although I enjoyed THAT too!) and looks set to be my favourite assistant. She’s got a genuinely funny rapport with Mr Tennant, yet I’m quite sure she’s going to be a revelation when it comes to all the emotional stuff.

Her asking the Doctor “Don’t you want me?” was heartbreaking, and hopefully a small indication of what she is capable of. I can’t wait to see where these next twelve episodes take the character of Donna. Hopefully to some darker, more dramatic situations than those of Episode One. I’m looking forward to the ride…

Total Score: SEVEN out of TEN