THINGS THAT HAVE MADE ME AS HAPPY AS WATCHING CATHERINE TATE IN DOCTOR WHO...
DALE WINTON'S HOLE
*Pause for comic effect* ... In The Wall - Best/Worst programme on TV right now.
NEW CLIENTS
There are several exciting new clients that we at Eggplant have managed to secure. I cannot name names, as some of our (much better) competitors may be reading this, so all I can say is that we have managed to take several thousand pounds from a popular government-run heathcare service, a popular department store that's not as popular as M&S and a popular chicken-based restaurant.
LIVE MUSIC-NESS
Tom McRae at the Borderline. Great venue. Smelt of Joss Sticks. (As opposed to Joss Stone, which - I have on good authority - is a rancid and vile smell, like mouldy yams).
Tom was fantastic, as always. But he does persist in performing the same songs. Which is fine when it is Silent Boulevard. I'd throw a bucket of my own carefully collected turd at him if he didn't sing Silent Boulevard. But it would be nice to hear some songs that he hasn't done before. Like his beautiful cover of Oh Yeah.
"There's a band playing on the radio..."
Or Sound Of The City. Or The Girl Who Falls Downstairs. Or Out Of This. Or... No, sorry. I'll stop. Anyway, 'tis but a minor quibble.
He was fantastic, as always. Brilliant. Silent Boulevard was a great finale, and Mr Daniel Of Glag seemed to have a good time, even when I threatened to get all teary at Got A Suitcase, Got Regrets. All in all, a most sexiful evening.
Also surprisingly good were - *whispers SO fucking quietly* - The Brothers Jonas. No prizes for guessing why I went along to see them. There aren't many reasons I'd subject myself to a night locked in a building with thousands of screaming pre-pubescent girls behaving like whores; wittering on about which Jonas they want to sit on first. Ignoring the fact that The Jonas Brothers are pure and chaste and don't actually know what sex is.
I felt ever-so-slightly out of place. Luckily, sat next to me was an old man and his wife. No kids though. Naturally I took them to be nonces on the prowl for some fresh prey. The atmosphere and surroundings were like something out of my worst nightmare... But The Brothers Jonas themselves were actually REALLY good. A lot rockier live.
And they did a blinding cover of Fix You. (Which, bizarrely, all the ten year old girls knew word for word). Turned out to be quite a good night, although I think the twelve Smirnoff Ice's myself and Matt downed first probably helped.
RANDOM DAYS AND NIGHTS
Myself and Matt went to Spain to stay with Sussy for a few days. Sun, Sea, Sand and S... wimming! REALLY enjoyed it, and LOVED the Spanish measures of Malibu. They were almost as generous as Mipsy Measures. We were probably a little bit drunken 95% of the time. But not as much as the lovely Dutch Beppe, who politely informed us that everytime she talks, she needs to piss.
Pretty.
And she also "LOVES THE GAYS!"
In addition to this, we took a trip to Brighton (with ridiculously scary end-of-pier rides and £30 spent on winning an Alan GreenToad!) AND Alton Towers, where we were attacked by Zombies and found ourselves in the corner of an abandoned farmhouse, cuddling people we'd never met before because we were so scared. That was a random day.
SPOOKS
Spooks returning to BBC1 this Monday.
THINGS THAT HAVE MADE ME AS SAD AS WATCHING SHIT MARTHA IN DOCTOR WHO...
SPOOKS
Spooks returning to BBC1 this Monday without The Lovely Ruth Evershed. Boo!
The gorgeous Peter Firth (who has a massive one) and Sexy Old Bird Connie are still there, being magnificent, but it's really hard for me to care about any of the characters now. Sexy Zaf was killed off, and that upset me (he was stunning) but I miss Ruth.
I still remember Peter Firth (who has a massive one) telling Philip and Fern that she would be back in Series Six. And I waited. And waited. And waited. And still nothing. Not even a passing mention. I miss her. I loved her. Bring her back, BBC. The campaign starts here. Maybe.
NEW CLIENTS
There are several exciting new clients that we at Eggplant have managed to secure. I cannot name names, as some of our (much better) competitors may be reading this, so all I can say is that we have managed to take several thousand pounds from a popular government-run heathcare service, a popular department store that's not as popular as M&S and a popular chicken-based restaurant.
LIVE MUSIC-NESS
Tom McRae at the Borderline. Great venue. Smelt of Joss Sticks. (As opposed to Joss Stone, which - I have on good authority - is a rancid and vile smell, like mouldy yams).
Tom was fantastic, as always. But he does persist in performing the same songs. Which is fine when it is Silent Boulevard. I'd throw a bucket of my own carefully collected turd at him if he didn't sing Silent Boulevard. But it would be nice to hear some songs that he hasn't done before. Like his beautiful cover of Oh Yeah.
"There's a band playing on the radio..."
Or Sound Of The City. Or The Girl Who Falls Downstairs. Or Out Of This. Or... No, sorry. I'll stop. Anyway, 'tis but a minor quibble.
He was fantastic, as always. Brilliant. Silent Boulevard was a great finale, and Mr Daniel Of Glag seemed to have a good time, even when I threatened to get all teary at Got A Suitcase, Got Regrets. All in all, a most sexiful evening.
Also surprisingly good were - *whispers SO fucking quietly* - The Brothers Jonas. No prizes for guessing why I went along to see them. There aren't many reasons I'd subject myself to a night locked in a building with thousands of screaming pre-pubescent girls behaving like whores; wittering on about which Jonas they want to sit on first. Ignoring the fact that The Jonas Brothers are pure and chaste and don't actually know what sex is.
I felt ever-so-slightly out of place. Luckily, sat next to me was an old man and his wife. No kids though. Naturally I took them to be nonces on the prowl for some fresh prey. The atmosphere and surroundings were like something out of my worst nightmare... But The Brothers Jonas themselves were actually REALLY good. A lot rockier live.
And they did a blinding cover of Fix You. (Which, bizarrely, all the ten year old girls knew word for word). Turned out to be quite a good night, although I think the twelve Smirnoff Ice's myself and Matt downed first probably helped.
RANDOM DAYS AND NIGHTS
Myself and Matt went to Spain to stay with Sussy for a few days. Sun, Sea, Sand and S... wimming! REALLY enjoyed it, and LOVED the Spanish measures of Malibu. They were almost as generous as Mipsy Measures. We were probably a little bit drunken 95% of the time. But not as much as the lovely Dutch Beppe, who politely informed us that everytime she talks, she needs to piss.
Pretty.
And she also "LOVES THE GAYS!"
In addition to this, we took a trip to Brighton (with ridiculously scary end-of-pier rides and £30 spent on winning an Alan GreenToad!) AND Alton Towers, where we were attacked by Zombies and found ourselves in the corner of an abandoned farmhouse, cuddling people we'd never met before because we were so scared. That was a random day.
SPOOKS
Spooks returning to BBC1 this Monday.
THINGS THAT HAVE MADE ME AS SAD AS WATCHING SHIT MARTHA IN DOCTOR WHO...
SPOOKS
Spooks returning to BBC1 this Monday without The Lovely Ruth Evershed. Boo!
The gorgeous Peter Firth (who has a massive one) and Sexy Old Bird Connie are still there, being magnificent, but it's really hard for me to care about any of the characters now. Sexy Zaf was killed off, and that upset me (he was stunning) but I miss Ruth.
I still remember Peter Firth (who has a massive one) telling Philip and Fern that she would be back in Series Six. And I waited. And waited. And waited. And still nothing. Not even a passing mention. I miss her. I loved her. Bring her back, BBC. The campaign starts here. Maybe.
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