Dear Diary...

On the one hand, it’s a good thing. It means I’ve actually stuck to a New Year’s Resolution. First time EVER, I think. On the other hand, it has got in the way of waxing lyrical here in this Blog Thing, which is my ninth-favourite way to spend an afternoon.

One of my Resolutions was to keep a diary. And I have. Every day in January has been carefully recorded in a pretty little Notepad document on my increasingly-decrepit computer. When I could have been writing one of my “Award-Winning” little Blog Things, I was prattling on about the most ridiculously tedious details in a Notepad document that is never going to be seen or read by anyone. I hope. So now I’m behind with these Blogs.

Hardly crime of the century... But I do enjoy writing these entries. I’ve been doing so since 2005, and don’t want to stop now. Even if the diary writing is doing its best to get in the way. So I’m making an effort to get back on track, Blog-wise. But because I can’t be arsed to trawl my memories looking for anecdotes about the month that has just passed, I’ll post extracts from the diary. It should sum things up nicely, without actually having to put any effort into writing new-ness.

So... This was January:

“Woke up at 4pm”... “all I want is”... “liver and bacon”... “and to take vegetables out of Matt’s rice”... “which got me thinking”... “I haven’t got the money to pay for”... “the LOVELY Colin Morgan from Merlin”... “ejaculating on a small child”... “but everyone told me rather loudly”... “that it was time to piss off to London”... “and the next thing I know, Matt’s waking me up because it’s 1pm”... “to say she’s like the perfect pissing manager”... “with a lightbulb head”... “so we turned up for dinner”... “where I was given Strawberry Strepsils”... “and found myself increasingly drawn to”... “three children and several ex-husbands”... “and just wanted to cuddle up to”... “Perry as the main office was busy”... “wanting to tear off your clothes and lick every inch of your body and make love to you all night”... “so he got an informal warning”... “for expecting a major crime scene outside”... “the blatantly straight”... “stir-fry”... “in Brighton”... “where I’d previously gone for a walk along the beach and”... “it hurts so much”... “to watch Life On Mars and eat kebab”... “so feeling rough as arseholes”... “I spent all night texting”... “Antonio Banderas”.

An interesting month, I’m sure you’ll agree.

All real-life extracts (one per day) from my lovely diary. Any longer extracts would probably have been too revealing. Full of thoughts, feelings, fears, hopes, blah, blah... bleugh. And I should really learn to be less honest in these things. I’ll save that sort of schmaltz for the diary...

But there we go. I’m now up to date with this thing. And February is here – Keane, The Killers, Brighton Panto-ness, Bayswater, Roadhouse, Portsmouth and my God-Damned Twenty*ahem* Birthday all to come... Plenty of Blog-Writing material, I’m sure. So TTFN...

Last.FM Charts For 2008

It's that time of year again. A round-up of the most-played songs of the past year at Chez Bollock. Always controversial, always completely meaningless to anyone but myself... Will Tom McRae's perfect cover of Oh Yeah reign supreme for a second year running? The suspense, I suspect, is killing you. So here we go.

Proudly brought to you in association with Last.FM.


50 – Bleeding Love by Jesse McCartney
49 – All The Strange, Strange Creatures by Murray Gold
48 – Disappear by No Angels
47 – End Of The World News (Dose Me Up) by Tom McRae
46 – The Power Of Love by Celine Dion
45 – Show Me Heaven by Maria McKee
44 – In Too Deep by Genesis
43 – Stars And Satellites by Minnie Driver
42 – How To Be Good by Minnie Driver
41 – Runaway Train by Busted
40 – Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol
39 – You Only Disappear by Tom McRae
38 – When You Were Young by The Killers
37 – Be Mine by Robyn
36 – Frozen Oceans by Shiny Toy Guns
35 – The Ballad Of Amelia Earhart by Tom McRae
34 – The Blower's Daughter by Damien Rice
33 – Back Off by No Angels
32 – That's Not My Name by The Ting Tings
31 – Grey Room by Damien Rice
30 – Alone by Celine Dion
29 – Rainy Day Lament by Joe Purdy
28 – I Say A Prayer For You by Girls Aloud
27 – Sound Of The City by Tom McRae
26 – Soulmate by Natasha Bedingfield
25 – Eyes by Rogue Wave
24 – I'm Yours by Jason Mraz
23 – One More Night Alone by Friday Hill
22 – Born To Run by McFly
21 – Paper Planes by M.I.A
20 – Stop And Stare by OneRepublic
19 – Where Is Your Love by No Angels
18 – Challengers by The New Pornographers
17 – Atlantis 2002 by No Angels
16 – My Vampire Heart by Tom McRae
15 – Love Changes Everything by Sarah Brightman
14 – Starts With One by Shiny Toy Guns
13 – 9 Crimes by Damien Rice
12 – Run by Leona Lewis
11 – Perfect Symmetry by Keane
10 – Do You Know? (The Ping Pong Song) by Enrique Iglesias
09 – So What by Pink
08 – The Reason by Hoobastank
07 – Oh Yeah by Tom McRae
06 – The Bleeding Heart Show by The New Pornographers
05 – Cheer Up (You Miserable Fuck) by David Ford
04 – Run by Snow Patrol
03 – The Heart Never Lies by McFly
02 – The Glass Parade by Cary Brothers
01 – Silent Boulevard by Tom McRae

So that'll be a no... Oh Yeah falls to No7 this year, and Tom's best original offering, Silent Boulevard, returns to the Top Spot for the first time since 2005. It's MY song, how could it not? See you same time next year? Can Thomas make it a ANOTHER year on top? Place your bets. And pretend to look interested.

2008 Questionnaire

And now it's time for a worringly honest look at the last twelve months in the obligatory, annual end-of-year questionnaire...

What Did You Do In 2008 That You’d Never Done Before?
Went to Prague. Went to Blackpool (aka Vile Shithole). Went to Alton Towers. Broke into a castle. Committed an act of naughtiness in a children’s playground. Passed a First Aid Course. Dressed up as Dangermouse.

Did You Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions, And Will You Make More For 2009?
I did make a New Year’s Resolution... And I didn’t stick to it. Mainly because I’m a coward. Maybe this year, eh? Elsewhere in 2009, I’ve promised myself that I will be less of a tosser and make more of an effort with my friends, rather than just ignoring everyone as and when I’ve had a slightly bad day. Need to stop wallowing in my own self-pity as much as I currently do! I’m also going to start keeping a diary. Although I fully accept most entries will be: "Stayed in bed with a takeaway and DVD."

What Countries Did You Visit?
Spain. Prague. Alton Towers, which is its own little country of magic and wonder, right?!

Did Anyone Close To You Give Birth?
Janette – Not that I’ve been introduced to Laila yet. I hope that will happen sometime in 2009. I trust she will accompany us on our next drunken night out?

Did Anyone Close To You Die?
Nope. An old family friend passed away, which upset me slightly (surprisingly) but no one close. And touch wood that will be the same for 2009.

What Would You Like To Have In 2009 That You Lacked In 2008?
An engagement ring?! Erm... Can’t really think of anything that I lacked in 2008... Especially during the last few months of the year.

What Date From 2008 Will Remain Etched Upon Your Memory, And Why?
Oh God... How can I possibly narrow it down to just one day after all the GENIUS things that occurred during 2008?! Bayswater, Brighton Panto-ness with Bexifer, Rob and Colin, all the many concerts (especially Tom with Dan Glag at Borderline), New Year's Eve, the many Roadhouse sessions... Too many great times! I guess the four days in Spain with Matt were pretty damn special. As a certain Dutch fruitloop would say: “As Long As You Enjoy Yourself”. And yes, Lord Beppe, I did enjoy myself.

What Was Your Biggest Achievement Of 2008?
Returning to the nightshift with more money, less days and NO weekend work! Apart from the odd issue here and there, I am happier than I have ever been working there. I actually feel management are beginning to understand just how hard we work, which has never really happened before. All in all, a good year work-wise. Next step: World Domination!

What Was Your Biggest Failure?
Letting friendships suffer just because I was having a bad day/week/month. I really need to learn to deal with things better. Rather than cutting myself off from people and social situations, I need to put on a brave face and get on with things, rather than avoiding people until I’m feeling “better”. Something to work on in 2009, methinks.

Did You Suffer Illness Or Injury?
Well, I spent the start of 2008 ‘clinically depressed’ which was hilarious. Probably had something to do with feeling totally out of my depth at the job in London. I soon cheered up when I returned to Bromley and all the wonders of media monitoring!

Where Did Most Of Your Money Go?
Probably on the grabbing machines in Brighton, trying to win an Alan GreenToad! Either that, or on a certain Christmas present. “You Bought Me An Idea!”

What Was The Best Thing You Bought?
Aside from the aforementioned Christmas present... Tickets to Spain with Lady Matt. And Tom McRae tickets. And the hotel in Brighton with the balcony, the rather pretty Jacuzzi and the Family Fortunes game!

What Was The Best Thing You Received?
Present Number Nine from Matt. I nearly did a bit of a cry!

What Did You Get Really, Really Excited About?
The events of Friday 11th July.

What Songs Will Always Remind You Of 2008?
Pink – So What
McFly – The Heart Never Lies
Enrique Iglesias – Do You Know? (The Ping Pong Song)
Jason Mraz – I’m Yours
The Ting Tings – That’s Not My Name
No Angels – Disappear
Cary Brothers – The Glass Parade
Leona Lewis – Run

Compared To This Time Last Year, Are You:

I – Happier Or Sadder? - Happier
II – Thinner Or Fatter? - Fatter
III – Richer Or Poorer? - Richer

What Do You Wish You’d Done More Of In 2008?
Being brave.

What Do You Wish You’d Done Less Of In 2008?
Being miserable.

Did You Fall In Love In 2008?
Technically, taking the question at face value, the answer is: No, I didn’t fall in love in 2008. I could go into more detail, but I think I said all I needed to on that matter one drunken night outside a branch of TGI’s...

What Was Your Favourite TV Programme?
This may come as a surprise to people, but it was actually... Doctor Who! Some of the finest episodes EVER (Turn Left, Unicorn And The Wasp, Journey’s End, Silence In The Library) and the best companion EVER. I never thought a series finale could make me cry as much as the one in which Lord Eccleston departed. But watching Donna’s last episode was the most heartbreaking thing that happened to me all year. The tears just didn’t stop. And why should they? She was amazing. Fantastic. "The Best Of Times" - Oh, Donna Noble. You made Doctor Who Series Four my most favourite thing to have ever been shown on the tele-box. (Just don’t mention The Doctor’s Cunting Daughter...)

What Was The Best Book You Read?
The Writer’s Tale by RTD OBE and his pretty friend from Doctor Who Magazine. Not only was it a highly interesting behind-the-scenes look at my favourite television show (Who WAS Mrs X?) but it was also great from a Writer’s point-of-view. Lest we forget, that is occasionally what I claim to be. A writer. It’s good to know that a lot of the thought processes (and the procrastination) RTD OBE goes through is shared by myself when I attempt to put pen to paper. Reading that book made me want to write again. Who knows, maybe 2009 will be the year Paradise gets finished.

What Was Your Greatest Musical Discovery Of 2008?
The Glass Parade by Cary Brothers was the best thing I stumbled upon this year. A more perfect, heartbreaking love song would be hard to find.

What Concerts Did You Go To In 2008?
Spice Girls – Although, admittedly, I was only there to deliver tickets! Jason Mraz, Dawn Kinnard, REM at the Albert Hall, Tom McRae (twice), Matchbox Twenty, the LOVELY Minnie Driver, Bruce Springsteen (twice) and... erm... The Jonas Brothers. Who were actually really good!

What Was Your Favourite Film Of The Year?
I really enjoyed The Strangers – “Because You Were Home”. That was creepy as fuck.

What Did You Want And Get?
My old job back! And cuddles – lots of lovely cuddles.

What Did You Want And Not Get?
I did really want a place of my own in 2008, but didn’t really have the money for it. Despite intending to get a place as early into 2009 as possible, I have changed my mind slightly. The plan for this year is to spend my money on having fun, going on random holidays and weekends away, getting drunk, living life and popping to Florida for a couple of weeks! Yes, at my age, I should really have moved out by now. But think of all the fun I can have with the money I save by staying at home...!

Do You Hate Anyone Now That You Didn’t Hate This Time Last Year?
Oh yes. But it would be impolite of me to reveal a name. Or name(s).

What Did You Do On Your Birthday, And How Old Were You?
I was Twenty-Ish. I have a feeling I spent it getting drunk in the Admiral Duncan. Which probably means I got dragged kicking and screaming to G-A-Y Late...?

What One Thing Would Have Made Your Year Immeasurably More Satisfying?
So, that engagement ring...?

How Would You Describe Your Personal Fashion Concept In 2008?
Not very flattering. Or expensive. If only I could wear that Dangermouse costume all year round...

Which Celebrity/Public Figure Did You Fancy The Most?
Probably the lovely Colin Morgan. And Annette Badland, naturally.

What Political Issue Stirred You The Most?
I was rather amused by my biggest client pretty much crippling the whole of the British Economy. That made me do a chuckle...

Who Did You Miss?
Ruth Evershed from Spooks!

Who Was The Best New Person You Met?
I can’t narrow it down to just ONE person! I guess my answer would be: All the people that Matt has kindly introduced me to this year! The drunken games nights, the takeaways, the SoHomo trips, the Wii games, the horror films, New Year’s Eve... This time last year, I hadn’t met any of these people. Now I’m getting pissed with them on a semi-regular basis. Life is so much better for it, and my penis a little bit more erect.

Tell Us A Valuable Life Lesson You Learned In 2008:
Never settle for second best. Some things are worth waiting for.

Quote A Song Lyric That Sums Up Your Year:
"I’ll Sing It One Last Time For You..."