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Sunday, 31 January 2010
Thursday, 14 January 2010
Doctor Who Watch #14
The End Of Time Part One/The End Of Time Part Two by RTD OBE
Ever since David 'Not Quite As Fantastic As Chris Eccleston' Tennant (to give him his full name) announced his decision to depart Doctor Who, the series became purely about this moment. Everything built to his exit scenes - and the bits of the story that didn't play a part in his unfolding fate (The David Morrissey anti-climax, the flying bus...) just became tedious. It was all about the goodbye.
The first part of the story was, admittedly, entertaining. More entertaining than watching Newsround's Lizo Mzimba and Lee 'Sweaty Bollocks' Evans dicking around in a camper van, anyway. And certainly more entertaining than Rupert-Penry Jones Thief - Miss Assumpta Fitzgerald - stomping all over a hand-drawn picture of London. But that's hardly high praise.
It had John Simm in a dress. John Simm in MANY dresses, actually. It had a fantastic "try and make an Ood laugh" scene, with an expression-free and totally non-plussed Ood Sigma stealing that particular show. And it had Wilf and The Doctor, in a cafe, trying their hardest not to cry. It was probably one of the best scenes RTD OBE has ever written. Wilf's distress when he sees The Doctor - this big, brave, bold spaceman - crumbling before him is heartbreaking to watch. Certainly the best moment of the first part.
Well, either that... Or the moment David Tennant gets fingered by naughty slut-bag, Dame June Whitfield. That was quite sexy.
But that was about it. The sub-plot with President Obama was stupid. And the transformation of the Master into some sort of Sylar reject, jumping about like Skippy on acid and firing lightening bolts from his hands as if he were Michael Fish himself... I mean, WTF?!
And Timothy Dalton was SERIOUSLY mis-cast. The amount of dribble that man generated in the closing scene, he was clearly better suited to an appearance in The Waters Of Mars. No special effects required.
Entertaining when judged on its own, but nothing special. Just a build-up to the second part; nothing more than that. But once the groundwork had been done - Christ, did it fly. The End Of Time Part Two had everything. Even green, pointy-faced people. What show isn't instantly improved by that? Admittedly they were completely useless, and if one hadn't been portrayed by the wonderful Nursey Lady (and warewolf sex-toy) from Being Human, I would have hated them. So it's a credit to her I didn't want to attack them with a pair of garden shears.
It had some hilarious moment, especially when John Simm has Bernard Cribbins tied up. Somewhat of a fantasy of mine. And "Worst Rescue EVER!" made me do a chuckle. And The Doctor's reaction when he sees the ever-shrill Mother Noble smiling is brilliant.
But those were only small moments; the stand-out scenes were those of darkness, and despair and sadness. I let out a little cry when Donna collapsed in the alleyway. I really thought that was the end for her. And GOD, didn't she land with a thud?! I love Donna. She will always be my favourite companion... And I'm really disappointed that she wasn't in this a bit more. Instead of swanning off to film Nan's Christmas Special. What a fucking liberty.
But as much as I love Donna, I wouldn't have swapped Wilf for the chance to see her as the companion again. Wilf as The Doctor's travelling buddy was one of RTD OBE's finest ideas since writing the stage direction: "And Charlie Hunnam gets rimmed by Aiden Gillen"
Bernard Cribbins stole the show. He was beautiful in every scene. When he asked The Doctor if The Master had changed "those in their graves", I didn't think I'd ever stop crying. Such a poignant question; such a brilliant RTD OBE line. He does write some amazing dialogue. And David Tennant declaring that he'd be proud if Wilf were his father - Oh, Christ... I know I'm a soppy old bastard, but that opened the floodgates.
The relationship between The Doctor and Wilf was the sweetest thing; the mutual respect and love for each other; the "I don't want you to die" scene; the final sacrifice. That is what sticks out most about this story - Yes, we have the Time-Lords returning and a long-awaited insight into the Time War. And yes, we have The Master saving The Doctor (although I feel it was more about taking revenge on Timothy Dalton - possibly for Licence To Kill? - than playing the 'good guy'). And yes... We have the return of the companions. But this story was always about Wilf and The Doctor.
Which is why those four knocks... I died a little inside when those four knocks came. Nothing could have prepared me for that. Maybe I'm naive, but I genuinely didn't see it coming. After all Wilf had done to try and save The Doctor, and he turns out to be the one responsible for his death. Yet, because it's Wilf and because Bernard Cribbins is a sexy genius, we can't feel anything but sympathy. We can't hate him for being the reason The Doctor dies, because he's BERNARD BLOODY CRIBBINS! He's amazing. God, if it was real life, I would have stepped into that damned-shit greenhouse and saved him myself. That's how wonderful Wilf is.
I cried my little heart out.
A lot of people have complained that the 'Regeneration Scene' was too long-winded and drawn-out. But as one of those people happened to be the cunt-like bile-spewing Garry Bushell, I choose not to listen to this pathetic opinion.
You show me someone - ANYONE - who, when realising they don't have long left to live, WOULDN'T do all they could do see the people they love one last time? Show me ANYONE who would not want to leave their loved ones with one last memory? To say farewell with one last good deed?
It's the perfect goodbye. If we could choose the nature of our own passing, would we not all choose to go like this?
So DT goes back to see Shit Martha to find she's married to another bloke. And even worse, the BITCH has bagged the lovely Noel Clarke. AND made him grow a really wanky, unattractive beard. I'll be glad to see the back of her.
The scene with Thingy from Spaced was very touching, as was Sarah Jane's haunted look - She knew what the goodbye was all about. VERY pleased with the John Barrowman scene. Anyone who has read The Writer's Tale by RTD OBE and Mr Hugely-Sexy Ben Cook will know why. And giving Donna the present of a lottery ticket is just wonderful. I'm only assuming that they are the winning numbers, though. Be shit if she only got a tenner out of it.
And then there was Rose. Billie Piper sans lisp, which was a blessed relief.
But oh... She didn't know who he was. Oh, I think I can feel the tears coming on again...
And then there's the final line. That horrible, brilliant, genius, cruel final line.
"I don't want to go"
I'm looking forward to Matt Smith and Steven Moffat's version of the show. The glimpse of Matt Smith's Doctor at the end of this episode has already got me excited - and to the twats who complained about the Ginger reference:
1 - FUCK OFF
2 - He's disappointed, not relieved. So how is that a negative thing?!
3 - It's a reference to his earlier disappointment in The Christmas Invation
4 - FUCK OFF AGAIN
I'm sure he will be amazingly brilliant. I loved the: "I'm a girl" bit. And, you know, he's quite hot. But as much as I look forward to the future, RTD OBE and everything he has done for the show will be greatly missed. This final episode had everything that was good about RTD OBE's revamp - laughs, tears, gay jokes, Wilf...
It.
Was.
Fantastic.
Total Score: TEN out of TEN
Ever since David 'Not Quite As Fantastic As Chris Eccleston' Tennant (to give him his full name) announced his decision to depart Doctor Who, the series became purely about this moment. Everything built to his exit scenes - and the bits of the story that didn't play a part in his unfolding fate (The David Morrissey anti-climax, the flying bus...) just became tedious. It was all about the goodbye.
The first part of the story was, admittedly, entertaining. More entertaining than watching Newsround's Lizo Mzimba and Lee 'Sweaty Bollocks' Evans dicking around in a camper van, anyway. And certainly more entertaining than Rupert-Penry Jones Thief - Miss Assumpta Fitzgerald - stomping all over a hand-drawn picture of London. But that's hardly high praise.
It had John Simm in a dress. John Simm in MANY dresses, actually. It had a fantastic "try and make an Ood laugh" scene, with an expression-free and totally non-plussed Ood Sigma stealing that particular show. And it had Wilf and The Doctor, in a cafe, trying their hardest not to cry. It was probably one of the best scenes RTD OBE has ever written. Wilf's distress when he sees The Doctor - this big, brave, bold spaceman - crumbling before him is heartbreaking to watch. Certainly the best moment of the first part.
Well, either that... Or the moment David Tennant gets fingered by naughty slut-bag, Dame June Whitfield. That was quite sexy.
But that was about it. The sub-plot with President Obama was stupid. And the transformation of the Master into some sort of Sylar reject, jumping about like Skippy on acid and firing lightening bolts from his hands as if he were Michael Fish himself... I mean, WTF?!
And Timothy Dalton was SERIOUSLY mis-cast. The amount of dribble that man generated in the closing scene, he was clearly better suited to an appearance in The Waters Of Mars. No special effects required.
Entertaining when judged on its own, but nothing special. Just a build-up to the second part; nothing more than that. But once the groundwork had been done - Christ, did it fly. The End Of Time Part Two had everything. Even green, pointy-faced people. What show isn't instantly improved by that? Admittedly they were completely useless, and if one hadn't been portrayed by the wonderful Nursey Lady (and warewolf sex-toy) from Being Human, I would have hated them. So it's a credit to her I didn't want to attack them with a pair of garden shears.
It had some hilarious moment, especially when John Simm has Bernard Cribbins tied up. Somewhat of a fantasy of mine. And "Worst Rescue EVER!" made me do a chuckle. And The Doctor's reaction when he sees the ever-shrill Mother Noble smiling is brilliant.
But those were only small moments; the stand-out scenes were those of darkness, and despair and sadness. I let out a little cry when Donna collapsed in the alleyway. I really thought that was the end for her. And GOD, didn't she land with a thud?! I love Donna. She will always be my favourite companion... And I'm really disappointed that she wasn't in this a bit more. Instead of swanning off to film Nan's Christmas Special. What a fucking liberty.
But as much as I love Donna, I wouldn't have swapped Wilf for the chance to see her as the companion again. Wilf as The Doctor's travelling buddy was one of RTD OBE's finest ideas since writing the stage direction: "And Charlie Hunnam gets rimmed by Aiden Gillen"
Bernard Cribbins stole the show. He was beautiful in every scene. When he asked The Doctor if The Master had changed "those in their graves", I didn't think I'd ever stop crying. Such a poignant question; such a brilliant RTD OBE line. He does write some amazing dialogue. And David Tennant declaring that he'd be proud if Wilf were his father - Oh, Christ... I know I'm a soppy old bastard, but that opened the floodgates.
The relationship between The Doctor and Wilf was the sweetest thing; the mutual respect and love for each other; the "I don't want you to die" scene; the final sacrifice. That is what sticks out most about this story - Yes, we have the Time-Lords returning and a long-awaited insight into the Time War. And yes, we have The Master saving The Doctor (although I feel it was more about taking revenge on Timothy Dalton - possibly for Licence To Kill? - than playing the 'good guy'). And yes... We have the return of the companions. But this story was always about Wilf and The Doctor.
Which is why those four knocks... I died a little inside when those four knocks came. Nothing could have prepared me for that. Maybe I'm naive, but I genuinely didn't see it coming. After all Wilf had done to try and save The Doctor, and he turns out to be the one responsible for his death. Yet, because it's Wilf and because Bernard Cribbins is a sexy genius, we can't feel anything but sympathy. We can't hate him for being the reason The Doctor dies, because he's BERNARD BLOODY CRIBBINS! He's amazing. God, if it was real life, I would have stepped into that damned-shit greenhouse and saved him myself. That's how wonderful Wilf is.
I cried my little heart out.
A lot of people have complained that the 'Regeneration Scene' was too long-winded and drawn-out. But as one of those people happened to be the cunt-like bile-spewing Garry Bushell, I choose not to listen to this pathetic opinion.
You show me someone - ANYONE - who, when realising they don't have long left to live, WOULDN'T do all they could do see the people they love one last time? Show me ANYONE who would not want to leave their loved ones with one last memory? To say farewell with one last good deed?
It's the perfect goodbye. If we could choose the nature of our own passing, would we not all choose to go like this?
So DT goes back to see Shit Martha to find she's married to another bloke. And even worse, the BITCH has bagged the lovely Noel Clarke. AND made him grow a really wanky, unattractive beard. I'll be glad to see the back of her.
The scene with Thingy from Spaced was very touching, as was Sarah Jane's haunted look - She knew what the goodbye was all about. VERY pleased with the John Barrowman scene. Anyone who has read The Writer's Tale by RTD OBE and Mr Hugely-Sexy Ben Cook will know why. And giving Donna the present of a lottery ticket is just wonderful. I'm only assuming that they are the winning numbers, though. Be shit if she only got a tenner out of it.
And then there was Rose. Billie Piper sans lisp, which was a blessed relief.
But oh... She didn't know who he was. Oh, I think I can feel the tears coming on again...
And then there's the final line. That horrible, brilliant, genius, cruel final line.
"I don't want to go"
I'm looking forward to Matt Smith and Steven Moffat's version of the show. The glimpse of Matt Smith's Doctor at the end of this episode has already got me excited - and to the twats who complained about the Ginger reference:
1 - FUCK OFF
2 - He's disappointed, not relieved. So how is that a negative thing?!
3 - It's a reference to his earlier disappointment in The Christmas Invation
4 - FUCK OFF AGAIN
I'm sure he will be amazingly brilliant. I loved the: "I'm a girl" bit. And, you know, he's quite hot. But as much as I look forward to the future, RTD OBE and everything he has done for the show will be greatly missed. This final episode had everything that was good about RTD OBE's revamp - laughs, tears, gay jokes, Wilf...
It.
Was.
Fantastic.
Total Score: TEN out of TEN
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Saturday, 9 January 2010
2009 Questionnaire
As much of a tradition as Auld Lang Syne and... erm... my Last.FM blog... Here's a delightfully honest look back at the shit-fest that was 2009. One year I really should try writing this without drinking half a bottle of Malibu first.
What Did You Do In 2009 That You'd Never Done Before?
Karaoke, in public - not just relying on the safety of living room SingStar. Went to a Lesbian Wedding. Went abroad on my own. Lived alone. Bought toilet roll. Kept a diary. Threw up at a fairground. Got naked in the middle of a field. Got naked in the middle of Bromley high street.
Did You Keep Your New Year's Resolutions, And Will You Make More For Next Year?
What Did You Do In 2009 That You'd Never Done Before?
Karaoke, in public - not just relying on the safety of living room SingStar. Went to a Lesbian Wedding. Went abroad on my own. Lived alone. Bought toilet roll. Kept a diary. Threw up at a fairground. Got naked in the middle of a field. Got naked in the middle of Bromley high street.
Did You Keep Your New Year's Resolutions, And Will You Make More For Next Year?
The photo diary fell by the wayside about two months in when my PC crashed and took all the photos with it. Plus they all seemed to be of me in bed eating pizza. I kept an actual diary though - with the odd week missing here and there if nothing interesting had happened, or if I just couldn't be fagged to update it.
My New Year's Resolution for 2010 is to make this my Year Of Plenty. And I know I'm not the only one who has such an aim. 2009 was a bit wank, so I'm hoping to make this coming year one of absolute amazing-ness. And it's already looking quite, quite promising...
Did Anyone Close To You Give Birth?
My New Year's Resolution for 2010 is to make this my Year Of Plenty. And I know I'm not the only one who has such an aim. 2009 was a bit wank, so I'm hoping to make this coming year one of absolute amazing-ness. And it's already looking quite, quite promising...
Did Anyone Close To You Give Birth?
Janette. Again. Am I going to be copying and pasting this answer for years to come?!
Did Anyone Close To You Die?
Did Anyone Close To You Die?
Not close to me, as such, but several relatives of close friends passed away which was obviously a complete shitter.
What Countries Did You Visit?
What Countries Did You Visit?
Spain (twice) and Portugal. Does Allhallows count?
What Would You Like To Have In 2010 That You Lacked In 2009?
What Would You Like To Have In 2010 That You Lacked In 2009?
Surely the one thing that everyone wants...?
What Date From 2009 Will Remain Etched Upon Your Memory, And Why?
August 10th. It's the only day of the year that's taken up three A4 pages of my diary - THAT's how brilliant it was.
What Was Your Biggest Achievement Of 2009?
What Date From 2009 Will Remain Etched Upon Your Memory, And Why?
August 10th. It's the only day of the year that's taken up three A4 pages of my diary - THAT's how brilliant it was.
What Was Your Biggest Achievement Of 2009?
Moving out. I'm an actual rent-paying grown-up person. I have a pretty-ish flat near work, which is what I've wanted for YEARS now and I've finally got it. Sure, it's not all it's cracked up to be. The amount I have to spend on rent and bills is a fucking disgrace, and I could really do with a place that has a tumble-dryer. But it's given me a lot more freedom, and it's mine. It's a place I can call my own. I love it. I'm SO proud of my drinks cabinet! And I've only had two nights where I've just felt completely lonely, which is better than I was expecting...
What Was Your Biggest Failure?
Time for another copy and paste job: Letting friendships suffer just because I was having a bad day/week/month. I really need to learn to deal with things better. Rather than cutting myself off from people and social situations, I need to put on a brave face and get on with things, rather than avoiding people until I’m feeling “better”. Something to work on in 2010, methinks.
Did You Suffer Illness Or Injury?
What Was Your Biggest Failure?
Time for another copy and paste job: Letting friendships suffer just because I was having a bad day/week/month. I really need to learn to deal with things better. Rather than cutting myself off from people and social situations, I need to put on a brave face and get on with things, rather than avoiding people until I’m feeling “better”. Something to work on in 2010, methinks.
Did You Suffer Illness Or Injury?
Apart from ridiculous ManFlu spanning the first two months of the year, 2009 was actually a good year for me health-wise. "At least you've got your health..." - Yes, that was about ALL I had in 2009!
What Was The Best Thing You Bought?
What Was The Best Thing You Bought?
Well, I'm only renting so I can't say 'The Flat'. I'm torn between three things: The shiny cushions in my bedroom (Oh yeah!), the tickets to see FrankMusik (one of the best nights I've had this year) and the ticket to Spain on my own. Wasn't having a great time of it, so needed to get away. Did me the world of good. For a week or so, at least. But while I was there, I had a great time. It was brilliant. And, of course, there was Gio...
Where Did Most Of Your Money Go?
Rent. Fucking, bleeding-me-dry, God-awful, whose-pissing-idea-was-this, Rent. Oh, and the M&S bedding wasn't all that cheap, either.
What Did You Get Really, Really Excited About?
Where Did Most Of Your Money Go?
Rent. Fucking, bleeding-me-dry, God-awful, whose-pissing-idea-was-this, Rent. Oh, and the M&S bedding wasn't all that cheap, either.
What Did You Get Really, Really Excited About?
Several things. Which was my first mistake, because life is crap.
What Songs Will Always Remind You Of 2009?
FrankMusik - Complete Me
FrankMusik - Better Off As Two
Alex Cornish - In A Word
Lady GaGa - Paparazzi
La Roux - In For The Kill
Snow Patrol - Crack The Shutters
Compared To This Time Last Year, Are You:
I - Happier or Sadder? - Sadder
II - Thinner or Fatter? - Fatter
III - Richer or Poorer? - Poorer (That DAMNED rent!)
What Do You Wish You'd Done More Of?
Touching men on their bell-ends. No... I jest. Ish. I wish I'd been able to get drunk more with the people I care about. Drunk and silly and loud - with Elaine Paige & Barbara Dickson on the iPod. Hence the New Year's Resolution.
What Do You Wish You'd Done Less Of?
Wallowing in any or all of the following: Self-pity. The past. Pig shit.
Did You Fall In Love In 2009?
Do you think this questionnaire would be quite so downbeat if the answer to this was 'Yes'...?!
How Many One Night Stands?
*Whistles Innocently*
What Was Your Favourite TV Programme?
Well, Doctor Who was barely on-screen this year. And with offerings like 'Planet Of The Dead' it was never going to be enough to secure its position here. Which means I'm stuck. I LOVED Psychoville. And the return of Ruth Evershed to Spooks made it an AMAZINGLY GOOD series this year. But for the sheer amount of heartbreak it caused me - and I do LOVE a good cry - the winner has to be Torchwood. Sid's Dead Dad was brilliant, and the fourth episode one of the finest pieces of television ever screened.
Do You Hate Anyone Now That You Didn't Hate This Time Last Year?
Nope. Because I'm lovely.
What Was The Best Book You Read?
Alan Carr's autobiography. By default, as it was the ONLY book I read in 2009.
What Was Your Greatest Musical Discovery?
Lord FrankMusik of SexyTown. God, I want that man's babies. Completely took me by surprise, because it's not my sort of music at all, but his album is a masterpiece. And the title track became the soundtrack to 2009. For better or for worse. Alex Cornish was a good find too, actually. Although technically I discovered him in 2008, this was the year I finally got round to buying his album. His gig at the Water Rats made me wet in so many ways.
What Concerts Did You Go To In 2009?
Keane - They sang The River! The Killers, Snow Patrol (minus Annie, the support act) and P!nk. FrankMusik, Alex Cornish and... erm... The Jonas Brothers, again, who were actually really good, again. They sang Sweet Caroline, FFS! That was ALWAYS going to give me an erection.
What Was Your Favourite Film Of This Year?
I'm not really a film person, but I did laugh hysterically at The Hangover. He's Just Not That Into You, however, made me want to end it all.
What Did You Want And Get This Year?
My own place. Chez Bollock, with its cupboards of obscure celebrities and calendars of nudey men. I love it.
What Did You Want And Not Get This Year?
Someone to come home to.
What Did You Do On Your Birthday, And How Old Were You?
I was Twenty-Something! I went to a dinner party at the McMahon's, drank Black Sambucca, vomited up the house and cried into someone else's pillow.
What One Thing Would Have Made Your Year Immeasurably More Satisfying?
A date with someone who could speak English, wasn't a klepto, didn't have a piss fetish or someone who had the skills to operate a bar of soap.
How Would You Describe Your Personal Fashion Concept In 2009?
"Sponsored by Topman"
What Kept You Sane?
Nothing. Have you not read the above? I'm a fucking mentalist.
Which Celebrity/Public Figure Did You Fancy The Most?
FrankMusik. Or Colin Morgan. Or that bloke who was told to drop his pants in Spooks - He was bootiful.
What Political Issue Stirred You The Most?
I don't do politics. But the whole 'Expenses Scandal' certainly livened work up a little bit - Who'd have thought The Daily Telegraph could become an entertaining read.
Who Did You Miss?
Matt. A little bit.
Who Was The Best New Person You Met?
Probably 'Miss Rich Porty' - He was, erm... Fun, I guess.
Tell Us A Valuable Life Lesson You Learned In 2009:
Life's a bitch and then you die. That seems to be rather apt. Or maybe I'll just resort to one final copy and paste job: “Pain and loss. They define us as much as happiness or love. Everything has it's time, and everything ends.”
Quote A Song Lyric That Sums Up Your Year:
The optimist in me wants to suggest: "Kiss me like a final meal, kiss me like we die tonight".
But the side of me that notices that is a ridiculously hopeful and passionate lyric for such a shit year has put forward this instead: "Darling, I'm lost. Adrift in the dark. I'm clutching your words, to my Vampire Heart once more. So let in the light, turn me to dust, if it don't end in bloodshed, dear, it's probably not love. Here we are in the darkest place, my reflection shows only your face. Something is found, something is lost. Looking for clues, in the streets of old New York. And I've spilled someone's blood, I broke someone's heart again. Someone you know. You're looking at him, my friend. And the people in our lives, we all leave behind. Leave behind. Here we are, in the darkest place. To keep from forgetting, I picture your face. And I wonder how we count the cost. Which is sweeter: Love or its loss? So I curse you my Vampire Heart, for letting me love you, love you, love you, for letting me love you from the start"
What Songs Will Always Remind You Of 2009?
FrankMusik - Complete Me
FrankMusik - Better Off As Two
Alex Cornish - In A Word
Lady GaGa - Paparazzi
La Roux - In For The Kill
Snow Patrol - Crack The Shutters
Compared To This Time Last Year, Are You:
I - Happier or Sadder? - Sadder
II - Thinner or Fatter? - Fatter
III - Richer or Poorer? - Poorer (That DAMNED rent!)
What Do You Wish You'd Done More Of?
Touching men on their bell-ends. No... I jest. Ish. I wish I'd been able to get drunk more with the people I care about. Drunk and silly and loud - with Elaine Paige & Barbara Dickson on the iPod. Hence the New Year's Resolution.
What Do You Wish You'd Done Less Of?
Wallowing in any or all of the following: Self-pity. The past. Pig shit.
Did You Fall In Love In 2009?
Do you think this questionnaire would be quite so downbeat if the answer to this was 'Yes'...?!
How Many One Night Stands?
*Whistles Innocently*
What Was Your Favourite TV Programme?
Well, Doctor Who was barely on-screen this year. And with offerings like 'Planet Of The Dead' it was never going to be enough to secure its position here. Which means I'm stuck. I LOVED Psychoville. And the return of Ruth Evershed to Spooks made it an AMAZINGLY GOOD series this year. But for the sheer amount of heartbreak it caused me - and I do LOVE a good cry - the winner has to be Torchwood. Sid's Dead Dad was brilliant, and the fourth episode one of the finest pieces of television ever screened.
Do You Hate Anyone Now That You Didn't Hate This Time Last Year?
Nope. Because I'm lovely.
What Was The Best Book You Read?
Alan Carr's autobiography. By default, as it was the ONLY book I read in 2009.
What Was Your Greatest Musical Discovery?
Lord FrankMusik of SexyTown. God, I want that man's babies. Completely took me by surprise, because it's not my sort of music at all, but his album is a masterpiece. And the title track became the soundtrack to 2009. For better or for worse. Alex Cornish was a good find too, actually. Although technically I discovered him in 2008, this was the year I finally got round to buying his album. His gig at the Water Rats made me wet in so many ways.
What Concerts Did You Go To In 2009?
Keane - They sang The River! The Killers, Snow Patrol (minus Annie, the support act) and P!nk. FrankMusik, Alex Cornish and... erm... The Jonas Brothers, again, who were actually really good, again. They sang Sweet Caroline, FFS! That was ALWAYS going to give me an erection.
What Was Your Favourite Film Of This Year?
I'm not really a film person, but I did laugh hysterically at The Hangover. He's Just Not That Into You, however, made me want to end it all.
What Did You Want And Get This Year?
My own place. Chez Bollock, with its cupboards of obscure celebrities and calendars of nudey men. I love it.
What Did You Want And Not Get This Year?
Someone to come home to.
What Did You Do On Your Birthday, And How Old Were You?
I was Twenty-Something! I went to a dinner party at the McMahon's, drank Black Sambucca, vomited up the house and cried into someone else's pillow.
What One Thing Would Have Made Your Year Immeasurably More Satisfying?
A date with someone who could speak English, wasn't a klepto, didn't have a piss fetish or someone who had the skills to operate a bar of soap.
How Would You Describe Your Personal Fashion Concept In 2009?
"Sponsored by Topman"
What Kept You Sane?
Nothing. Have you not read the above? I'm a fucking mentalist.
Which Celebrity/Public Figure Did You Fancy The Most?
FrankMusik. Or Colin Morgan. Or that bloke who was told to drop his pants in Spooks - He was bootiful.
What Political Issue Stirred You The Most?
I don't do politics. But the whole 'Expenses Scandal' certainly livened work up a little bit - Who'd have thought The Daily Telegraph could become an entertaining read.
Who Did You Miss?
Matt. A little bit.
Who Was The Best New Person You Met?
Probably 'Miss Rich Porty' - He was, erm... Fun, I guess.
Tell Us A Valuable Life Lesson You Learned In 2009:
Life's a bitch and then you die. That seems to be rather apt. Or maybe I'll just resort to one final copy and paste job: “Pain and loss. They define us as much as happiness or love. Everything has it's time, and everything ends.”
Quote A Song Lyric That Sums Up Your Year:
The optimist in me wants to suggest: "Kiss me like a final meal, kiss me like we die tonight".
But the side of me that notices that is a ridiculously hopeful and passionate lyric for such a shit year has put forward this instead: "Darling, I'm lost. Adrift in the dark. I'm clutching your words, to my Vampire Heart once more. So let in the light, turn me to dust, if it don't end in bloodshed, dear, it's probably not love. Here we are in the darkest place, my reflection shows only your face. Something is found, something is lost. Looking for clues, in the streets of old New York. And I've spilled someone's blood, I broke someone's heart again. Someone you know. You're looking at him, my friend. And the people in our lives, we all leave behind. Leave behind. Here we are, in the darkest place. To keep from forgetting, I picture your face. And I wonder how we count the cost. Which is sweeter: Love or its loss? So I curse you my Vampire Heart, for letting me love you, love you, love you, for letting me love you from the start"
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Thursday, 7 January 2010
Drink Me...
Just watched all six episodes of Being Human, in preparation for the new series this week. I knew of its existence, but never really felt compelled to check it out. It's amazing what living in an empty flat will lead you to do in order to stave off the boredom.
I loved it. Every single bit. Ghosts, Vampires, Warewolves... It made me laugh, it made me all teary and unneccessary (Poor dead Annie) and it got me well and truly hooked.
Plus, there's Mitchell.
Be still my throbbing, aching, pounding... *ahem*... heart.
I loved it. Every single bit. Ghosts, Vampires, Warewolves... It made me laugh, it made me all teary and unneccessary (Poor dead Annie) and it got me well and truly hooked.
Plus, there's Mitchell.
Be still my throbbing, aching, pounding... *ahem*... heart.
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Tuesday, 5 January 2010
Last.FM Charts For 2009
Someone asked me once why I waste my time compiling a list of my most-played songs each year. I told them to fuck off and die.
I can tell a lot from these lists. They serve me almost as well as a diary. If songs have made it into the Top 50, it means I've played them a helluva lot. Which could mean I've discovered a new musical obsession at some point during the year. It could mean, in the case of 2005, I've had completely wank year. You can tell this by the number of love songs that are in the chart.
You can tell when I've spent a lot of time in the company of certain people - 2006's chart is brimming with cheesy pop while, 2008's chart is brimming with... well, also cheesy pop. That speaks volumes.
From the charts, I can instantly see: "Ah, this is the year I was seeing Scrappy" or "Ah, this is the year I split up with Bolly" or... Actually, Humpy didn't really listen to music, so his tastes didn't influence my chart. That's no pissing help, really - fuck knows what year I went out with him. (Not a music fan? That was never going to last!)
And just being reminded, through the medium of these charts, that my most-played song of 2006 was When You Were Young brings back so many memories... The time I first heard it, the number of times I had to wrestle the remote off a trigger-happy young gent so I could continue watching it on MTV, the pub in Prague where it was playing in the background, actually seeing The Killers perform it live... These charts mean nothing to anyone else, but it holds the key to unlocking so many memories for me that I will continue to record this chart every year and I don't care what people think.
Actually, that's a lie. Please don't call me a geek. I'm not a geek. I'm too pretty to be a geek.
So, in association with those gorgeous statistic-lovers at Last.Fm, here are the songs I listened to the most during the year of 2009:
50 - I'm Yours by Jason Mraz
I can tell a lot from these lists. They serve me almost as well as a diary. If songs have made it into the Top 50, it means I've played them a helluva lot. Which could mean I've discovered a new musical obsession at some point during the year. It could mean, in the case of 2005, I've had completely wank year. You can tell this by the number of love songs that are in the chart.
You can tell when I've spent a lot of time in the company of certain people - 2006's chart is brimming with cheesy pop while, 2008's chart is brimming with... well, also cheesy pop. That speaks volumes.
From the charts, I can instantly see: "Ah, this is the year I was seeing Scrappy" or "Ah, this is the year I split up with Bolly" or... Actually, Humpy didn't really listen to music, so his tastes didn't influence my chart. That's no pissing help, really - fuck knows what year I went out with him. (Not a music fan? That was never going to last!)
And just being reminded, through the medium of these charts, that my most-played song of 2006 was When You Were Young brings back so many memories... The time I first heard it, the number of times I had to wrestle the remote off a trigger-happy young gent so I could continue watching it on MTV, the pub in Prague where it was playing in the background, actually seeing The Killers perform it live... These charts mean nothing to anyone else, but it holds the key to unlocking so many memories for me that I will continue to record this chart every year and I don't care what people think.
Actually, that's a lie. Please don't call me a geek. I'm not a geek. I'm too pretty to be a geek.
So, in association with those gorgeous statistic-lovers at Last.Fm, here are the songs I listened to the most during the year of 2009:
50 - I'm Yours by Jason Mraz
49 - Challengers by The New Pornographers
48 - 3 Little Words by FrankMusik
47 - If This Is It by Newton Faulkner
46 - Let's Start Again by Blazin' Squad
45 - 9 Crimes by Damien Rice
44 - Disappear by No Angels
43 - Still Alive by Lisa Miskovsky
42 - When You Look Me In The Eyes by Jonas Brothers
41 - Time Will Tell by FrankMusik
40 - The Blower's Daughter by Damien Rice
39 - Give Me The Meltdown by Rob Thomas
38 - Wonder by Dan Black
37 - If There's A Rocket Tie Me To It by Snow Patrol
36 - Afterglow by Genesis
35 - My Vampire Heart by Tom McRae
34 - Fake Plastic Trees by Radiohead
33 - Such Great Heights by FrankMusik
32 - Daddy's Gone by Glasvegas
31 - Paper Planes by M.I.A
30 - Spaceman by The Killers
29 - Nancy Spain by Christy Moore
28 - Mr Brightside by Amy McDonald
27 - Vacant Heart by FrankMusik
26 - That's Just The Way We Roll by Jonas Brothers
25 - Sound Of The City by Tom McRae
24 - Revelry by Kings Of Leon
23 - The Greatest Story Never Told by Murray Gold
22 - So What by Pink
21 - Runaway Train by Busted
20 - Apologize by OneRepublic
19 - Cheer Up (You Miserable Fuck) by David Ford
18 - Out Of This by Tom McRae
17 - Used To by Daughtry
16 - In A Word by Alex Cornish
15 - No Way Out by Phil Collins
14 - Frozen Oceans by Shiny Toy Guns
13 - The Reason by Hoobastank
12 - In For The Kill by La Roux
11 - The Bleeding Heart Show by The New Pornographers
10 - Got A Suitcase, Got Regrets by Tom McRae
09 - Your Boy by FrankMusik
08 - The King Of Hearts by Alex Cornish
07 - Paparazzi by Lady GaGa
06 - Oh Yeah by Tom McRae
05 - Summit Day by Mike Oldfield
04 - It's A Sin by FrankMusik
03 - Run by Snow Patrol
02 - Silent Boulevard by Tom McRae
01 - Complete Me by FrankMusik
Will I show myself up as even more of a geek if I say things like: "This chart has the most new entries of any chart since I started recording them in 2005?"
That might not be true, actually. I haven't bothered calculating it. But it seems right. The chart is almost unrecognisable from last year. Who'd have thought a Mike Oldfield song would make it into the Top 5 of ANYTHING?! And Tom McRae - my favourite artist - knocked off the top spot by a young (admittedly STUNNING) upstart called Vincent Frank. It's madness. I'll be here same time next year with my 'Geek Hat' on. You have been warned.
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Will I show myself up as even more of a geek if I say things like: "This chart has the most new entries of any chart since I started recording them in 2005?"
That might not be true, actually. I haven't bothered calculating it. But it seems right. The chart is almost unrecognisable from last year. Who'd have thought a Mike Oldfield song would make it into the Top 5 of ANYTHING?! And Tom McRae - my favourite artist - knocked off the top spot by a young (admittedly STUNNING) upstart called Vincent Frank. It's madness. I'll be here same time next year with my 'Geek Hat' on. You have been warned.
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