Search Me...

So, it seems the kind Internet peoples have re-jigged the behind-the-scenes aspect of this ‘ere blog.  I can now tell how many ‘unique visitors’ I have had to each of my entries.  I’m quite surprised by the high figures. 

I merely write these half-illiterate scribbles to pass the time at work.  Or to draw attention to a random flaw in a Doctor Who episode.  Or to drop subtle hints about my feelings, without actually saying: ‘Look, fcuking marry me already!’ 

I don’t actually write for ‘an audience’.  I’d learn to use punctuation properly and swear a lot less if I actually took ‘an audience’ into consideration when bashing my clammy fingers against the keyboard at 3am.  But now I know there IS an audience out there, it’s hard not to be influenced by that.

I mean... I knew people read it.  When drinking cocktails with friends I haven’t seen for  months, they’ll often quote something from the blog.  And I’ve had emails from people who seem to be tickled by my musings.  I’ve even dated ‘a fan’.  But I didn’t know my word-doodles had as much reach as they appear to.  For example, 1230 people read my last Q&A blog thing.

Not quite up there with the Huffington Post, I admit.  But who, outside the people I know, could possibly be interested in my two-penneth?! 

I have the link to this blog on my Facebook page – tho you’d have to search their ridiculous new timeline thing all the way back to 2009 to find it.  I have it on my Last.Fm page.  But that’s it.  I don’t ‘plug’ the blog.  I don’t promote it.  So other than people with a vested interest or curiosity about my happiness – friends, family, gentleman callers wondering what nickname they’ll be assigned – I fail to see who this blog attracts.

But then, of course, there’s Google.

And people typing in certain words or phrases may well find themselves directed here – and drawn into my collection of paragraphed nonsense.  People searching for Tom McRae, for example, may end up here.  Or those who type into Google: ‘Doctor Who+Doctor’s Daughter’.  

Or... 'Bums+Willies+Touching+Hot Bloke Off Being Human'

And now I know a fair few hundred people pass through my myriad thoughts on a regular occasion, it is somewhat intoxicating.  What if I could get the number of ‘hits’ up to two thousand per entry? 

(Yeah, what if?  Literally, what if?  Life’s too short to give a flying French Fancy about ‘hits’ and ‘fans’ and the like – but go with me on this)

What if I could attract more people to this corner of my world?  And, rather obviously, by ‘attract more people’ I mean, ‘charm someone with my carefully crafted prose so much so that they wish to be my husband’

(Or, at the very least, stick their finger up me for a few minutes?)

As I attempt to attract a beau through the medium of this blog, I need to ensure more people find their way here.  Courtesy of Google.  So... Here’s a random list of search terms that may draw a soulmate, moth-to-a-flame-like, to my web of sexy:

Sex

Pretty, Pretty Colin Morgan

John Leslie

Dora Bryan

Leslie Grantham Web-Chat (With Pics)

Onions

Patsy Palmer's Arse Hair

Anne Widdecombe Shoving A Lampshade Inside Her

Coke-Snorting Attention-Seeking Whore-Bag Abi Titmuss

Bruce Springsteen

Jim Bowen

John Prescott Shirtless

Chuckle Brothers Sex Video

Underwear Fetish

The Theory Of Relativity

Munting

Robert Kilroy-Silk's Nipples

Princess Diana Car Crash Photographs

The Lovely Samuel Preston 
The Even Lovelier Frankmusik

Doctor Who

Paris Hilton's Musty Flaps

Trinny & Susannah Bring Each Other To Climax

Animal Sex

10 Best Ways To Blow A Camel

Clive Swift

Edwina Currie Bending Over 

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