
So... Coronation Street is 50 WHOLE ACTUAL YEARS OLD! Congratulations, Old Girl! To celebrate, Massive Doctor Who Homo Exec Phil Collinson (his actual full name) has decided to throw a tram at several of the residents. Plots are a closely guarded secret, as are the names of those set to perish. But I'll have a stab, anyway.
(Because the 'Who Killed Archie?' blog was so successful)
Wet-blanket cabbage-patch freckle-factory, Miss Molly Dobbs. She wot slept with Kevin Webster - a man who hasn't been sexy since he shaved off his 'tache in the 80'.
Helium-voiced chop-chopping baby-faced eunich, Mr Ashley Peacock. I know, I know... I thought he'd left YEARS ago too!
Leathery stalker-bint and offspring of 'er off Last Of The Summer Wine, Dame Charlotte Hoyle. Anyone who finds John Stape remotely attractive has clearly had a knock on the head. (But not as big a knock on the head as she's about to get, courtesy of Sir Stape's hammer... You heard it here first! Or in Inside Soap, possibly)
Bouffant-laden Rita Sullivan - Keeper of many a-pontefract cake and owner of a delightfully red bush. It's the 50th Anniversary. Surely they've got to kill off someone we actually CARE for? The other three, no-one gives a flying flange about, surely? But Miss Sullivan has been a major part of the community for almost ALL of Corrie's lifespan, and her sexual chemistry with Norris (and Mavis before him) is award-winning.
It would certainly provide the shock of the week. No-one expects such a major character to die. The other three, I'm guessing, are pretty much a foregone conclusion. There needs to be a surprise. And Rita's death would provide said surprise...
...And the tram does actually plough into The Kabin, with her inside it. Surely it's not bloody realistic for her to survive?! A tram. Driven at her head?!
(Because the 'Who Killed Archie?' blog was so successful)
Wet-blanket cabbage-patch freckle-factory, Miss Molly Dobbs. She wot slept with Kevin Webster - a man who hasn't been sexy since he shaved off his 'tache in the 80'.
Helium-voiced chop-chopping baby-faced eunich, Mr Ashley Peacock. I know, I know... I thought he'd left YEARS ago too!
Leathery stalker-bint and offspring of 'er off Last Of The Summer Wine, Dame Charlotte Hoyle. Anyone who finds John Stape remotely attractive has clearly had a knock on the head. (But not as big a knock on the head as she's about to get, courtesy of Sir Stape's hammer... You heard it here first! Or in Inside Soap, possibly)
Bouffant-laden Rita Sullivan - Keeper of many a-pontefract cake and owner of a delightfully red bush. It's the 50th Anniversary. Surely they've got to kill off someone we actually CARE for? The other three, no-one gives a flying flange about, surely? But Miss Sullivan has been a major part of the community for almost ALL of Corrie's lifespan, and her sexual chemistry with Norris (and Mavis before him) is award-winning.
It would certainly provide the shock of the week. No-one expects such a major character to die. The other three, I'm guessing, are pretty much a foregone conclusion. There needs to be a surprise. And Rita's death would provide said surprise...
...And the tram does actually plough into The Kabin, with her inside it. Surely it's not bloody realistic for her to survive?! A tram. Driven at her head?!
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