The End Of Time Part One/The End Of Time Part Two by RTD OBE
Ever since David 'Not Quite As Fantastic As Chris Eccleston' Tennant (to give him his full name) announced his decision to depart Doctor Who, the series became purely about this moment. Everything built to his exit scenes - and the bits of the story that didn't play a part in his unfolding fate (The David Morrissey anti-climax, the flying bus...) just became tedious. It was all about the goodbye.
The first part of the story was, admittedly, entertaining. More entertaining than watching Newsround's Lizo Mzimba and Lee 'Sweaty Bollocks' Evans dicking around in a camper van, anyway. And certainly more entertaining than Rupert-Penry Jones Thief - Miss Assumpta Fitzgerald - stomping all over a hand-drawn picture of London. But that's hardly high praise.
It had John Simm in a dress. John Simm in MANY dresses, actually. It had a fantastic "try and make an Ood laugh" scene, with an expression-free and totally non-plussed Ood Sigma stealing that particular show. And it had Wilf and The Doctor, in a cafe, trying their hardest not to cry. It was probably one of the best scenes RTD OBE has ever written. Wilf's distress when he sees The Doctor - this big, brave, bold spaceman - crumbling before him is heartbreaking to watch. Certainly the best moment of the first part.
Well, either that... Or the moment David Tennant gets fingered by naughty slut-bag, Dame June Whitfield. That was quite sexy.
But that was about it. The sub-plot with President Obama was stupid. And the transformation of the Master into some sort of Sylar reject, jumping about like Skippy on acid and firing lightening bolts from his hands as if he were Michael Fish himself... I mean, WTF?!
And Timothy Dalton was SERIOUSLY mis-cast. The amount of dribble that man generated in the closing scene, he was clearly better suited to an appearance in The Waters Of Mars. No special effects required.
Entertaining when judged on its own, but nothing special. Just a build-up to the second part; nothing more than that. But once the groundwork had been done - Christ, did it fly. The End Of Time Part Two had everything. Even green, pointy-faced people. What show isn't instantly improved by that? Admittedly they were completely useless, and if one hadn't been portrayed by the wonderful Nursey Lady (and warewolf sex-toy) from Being Human, I would have hated them. So it's a credit to her I didn't want to attack them with a pair of garden shears.
It had some hilarious moment, especially when John Simm has Bernard Cribbins tied up. Somewhat of a fantasy of mine. And "Worst Rescue EVER!" made me do a chuckle. And The Doctor's reaction when he sees the ever-shrill Mother Noble smiling is brilliant.
But those were only small moments; the stand-out scenes were those of darkness, and despair and sadness. I let out a little cry when Donna collapsed in the alleyway. I really thought that was the end for her. And GOD, didn't she land with a thud?! I love Donna. She will always be my favourite companion... And I'm really disappointed that she wasn't in this a bit more. Instead of swanning off to film Nan's Christmas Special. What a fucking liberty.
But as much as I love Donna, I wouldn't have swapped Wilf for the chance to see her as the companion again. Wilf as The Doctor's travelling buddy was one of RTD OBE's finest ideas since writing the stage direction: "And Charlie Hunnam gets rimmed by Aiden Gillen"
Bernard Cribbins stole the show. He was beautiful in every scene. When he asked The Doctor if The Master had changed "those in their graves", I didn't think I'd ever stop crying. Such a poignant question; such a brilliant RTD OBE line. He does write some amazing dialogue. And David Tennant declaring that he'd be proud if Wilf were his father - Oh, Christ... I know I'm a soppy old bastard, but that opened the floodgates.
The relationship between The Doctor and Wilf was the sweetest thing; the mutual respect and love for each other; the "I don't want you to die" scene; the final sacrifice. That is what sticks out most about this story - Yes, we have the Time-Lords returning and a long-awaited insight into the Time War. And yes, we have The Master saving The Doctor (although I feel it was more about taking revenge on Timothy Dalton - possibly for Licence To Kill? - than playing the 'good guy'). And yes... We have the return of the companions. But this story was always about Wilf and The Doctor.
Which is why those four knocks... I died a little inside when those four knocks came. Nothing could have prepared me for that. Maybe I'm naive, but I genuinely didn't see it coming. After all Wilf had done to try and save The Doctor, and he turns out to be the one responsible for his death. Yet, because it's Wilf and because Bernard Cribbins is a sexy genius, we can't feel anything but sympathy. We can't hate him for being the reason The Doctor dies, because he's BERNARD BLOODY CRIBBINS! He's amazing. God, if it was real life, I would have stepped into that damned-shit greenhouse and saved him myself. That's how wonderful Wilf is.
I cried my little heart out.
A lot of people have complained that the 'Regeneration Scene' was too long-winded and drawn-out. But as one of those people happened to be the cunt-like bile-spewing Garry Bushell, I choose not to listen to this pathetic opinion.
You show me someone - ANYONE - who, when realising they don't have long left to live, WOULDN'T do all they could do see the people they love one last time? Show me ANYONE who would not want to leave their loved ones with one last memory? To say farewell with one last good deed?
It's the perfect goodbye. If we could choose the nature of our own passing, would we not all choose to go like this?
So DT goes back to see Shit Martha to find she's married to another bloke. And even worse, the BITCH has bagged the lovely Noel Clarke. AND made him grow a really wanky, unattractive beard. I'll be glad to see the back of her.
The scene with Thingy from Spaced was very touching, as was Sarah Jane's haunted look - She knew what the goodbye was all about. VERY pleased with the John Barrowman scene. Anyone who has read The Writer's Tale by RTD OBE and Mr Hugely-Sexy Ben Cook will know why. And giving Donna the present of a lottery ticket is just wonderful. I'm only assuming that they are the winning numbers, though. Be shit if she only got a tenner out of it.
And then there was Rose. Billie Piper sans lisp, which was a blessed relief.
But oh... She didn't know who he was. Oh, I think I can feel the tears coming on again...
And then there's the final line. That horrible, brilliant, genius, cruel final line.
"I don't want to go"
I'm looking forward to Matt Smith and Steven Moffat's version of the show. The glimpse of Matt Smith's Doctor at the end of this episode has already got me excited - and to the twats who complained about the Ginger reference:
1 - FUCK OFF
2 - He's disappointed, not relieved. So how is that a negative thing?!
3 - It's a reference to his earlier disappointment in The Christmas Invation
4 - FUCK OFF AGAIN
I'm sure he will be amazingly brilliant. I loved the: "I'm a girl" bit. And, you know, he's quite hot. But as much as I look forward to the future, RTD OBE and everything he has done for the show will be greatly missed. This final episode had everything that was good about RTD OBE's revamp - laughs, tears, gay jokes, Wilf...
It.
Was.
Fantastic.
Total Score: TEN out of TEN
Ever since David 'Not Quite As Fantastic As Chris Eccleston' Tennant (to give him his full name) announced his decision to depart Doctor Who, the series became purely about this moment. Everything built to his exit scenes - and the bits of the story that didn't play a part in his unfolding fate (The David Morrissey anti-climax, the flying bus...) just became tedious. It was all about the goodbye.
The first part of the story was, admittedly, entertaining. More entertaining than watching Newsround's Lizo Mzimba and Lee 'Sweaty Bollocks' Evans dicking around in a camper van, anyway. And certainly more entertaining than Rupert-Penry Jones Thief - Miss Assumpta Fitzgerald - stomping all over a hand-drawn picture of London. But that's hardly high praise.
It had John Simm in a dress. John Simm in MANY dresses, actually. It had a fantastic "try and make an Ood laugh" scene, with an expression-free and totally non-plussed Ood Sigma stealing that particular show. And it had Wilf and The Doctor, in a cafe, trying their hardest not to cry. It was probably one of the best scenes RTD OBE has ever written. Wilf's distress when he sees The Doctor - this big, brave, bold spaceman - crumbling before him is heartbreaking to watch. Certainly the best moment of the first part.
Well, either that... Or the moment David Tennant gets fingered by naughty slut-bag, Dame June Whitfield. That was quite sexy.
But that was about it. The sub-plot with President Obama was stupid. And the transformation of the Master into some sort of Sylar reject, jumping about like Skippy on acid and firing lightening bolts from his hands as if he were Michael Fish himself... I mean, WTF?!
And Timothy Dalton was SERIOUSLY mis-cast. The amount of dribble that man generated in the closing scene, he was clearly better suited to an appearance in The Waters Of Mars. No special effects required.
Entertaining when judged on its own, but nothing special. Just a build-up to the second part; nothing more than that. But once the groundwork had been done - Christ, did it fly. The End Of Time Part Two had everything. Even green, pointy-faced people. What show isn't instantly improved by that? Admittedly they were completely useless, and if one hadn't been portrayed by the wonderful Nursey Lady (and warewolf sex-toy) from Being Human, I would have hated them. So it's a credit to her I didn't want to attack them with a pair of garden shears.
It had some hilarious moment, especially when John Simm has Bernard Cribbins tied up. Somewhat of a fantasy of mine. And "Worst Rescue EVER!" made me do a chuckle. And The Doctor's reaction when he sees the ever-shrill Mother Noble smiling is brilliant.
But those were only small moments; the stand-out scenes were those of darkness, and despair and sadness. I let out a little cry when Donna collapsed in the alleyway. I really thought that was the end for her. And GOD, didn't she land with a thud?! I love Donna. She will always be my favourite companion... And I'm really disappointed that she wasn't in this a bit more. Instead of swanning off to film Nan's Christmas Special. What a fucking liberty.
But as much as I love Donna, I wouldn't have swapped Wilf for the chance to see her as the companion again. Wilf as The Doctor's travelling buddy was one of RTD OBE's finest ideas since writing the stage direction: "And Charlie Hunnam gets rimmed by Aiden Gillen"
Bernard Cribbins stole the show. He was beautiful in every scene. When he asked The Doctor if The Master had changed "those in their graves", I didn't think I'd ever stop crying. Such a poignant question; such a brilliant RTD OBE line. He does write some amazing dialogue. And David Tennant declaring that he'd be proud if Wilf were his father - Oh, Christ... I know I'm a soppy old bastard, but that opened the floodgates.
The relationship between The Doctor and Wilf was the sweetest thing; the mutual respect and love for each other; the "I don't want you to die" scene; the final sacrifice. That is what sticks out most about this story - Yes, we have the Time-Lords returning and a long-awaited insight into the Time War. And yes, we have The Master saving The Doctor (although I feel it was more about taking revenge on Timothy Dalton - possibly for Licence To Kill? - than playing the 'good guy'). And yes... We have the return of the companions. But this story was always about Wilf and The Doctor.
Which is why those four knocks... I died a little inside when those four knocks came. Nothing could have prepared me for that. Maybe I'm naive, but I genuinely didn't see it coming. After all Wilf had done to try and save The Doctor, and he turns out to be the one responsible for his death. Yet, because it's Wilf and because Bernard Cribbins is a sexy genius, we can't feel anything but sympathy. We can't hate him for being the reason The Doctor dies, because he's BERNARD BLOODY CRIBBINS! He's amazing. God, if it was real life, I would have stepped into that damned-shit greenhouse and saved him myself. That's how wonderful Wilf is.
I cried my little heart out.
A lot of people have complained that the 'Regeneration Scene' was too long-winded and drawn-out. But as one of those people happened to be the cunt-like bile-spewing Garry Bushell, I choose not to listen to this pathetic opinion.
You show me someone - ANYONE - who, when realising they don't have long left to live, WOULDN'T do all they could do see the people they love one last time? Show me ANYONE who would not want to leave their loved ones with one last memory? To say farewell with one last good deed?
It's the perfect goodbye. If we could choose the nature of our own passing, would we not all choose to go like this?
So DT goes back to see Shit Martha to find she's married to another bloke. And even worse, the BITCH has bagged the lovely Noel Clarke. AND made him grow a really wanky, unattractive beard. I'll be glad to see the back of her.
The scene with Thingy from Spaced was very touching, as was Sarah Jane's haunted look - She knew what the goodbye was all about. VERY pleased with the John Barrowman scene. Anyone who has read The Writer's Tale by RTD OBE and Mr Hugely-Sexy Ben Cook will know why. And giving Donna the present of a lottery ticket is just wonderful. I'm only assuming that they are the winning numbers, though. Be shit if she only got a tenner out of it.
And then there was Rose. Billie Piper sans lisp, which was a blessed relief.
But oh... She didn't know who he was. Oh, I think I can feel the tears coming on again...
And then there's the final line. That horrible, brilliant, genius, cruel final line.
"I don't want to go"
I'm looking forward to Matt Smith and Steven Moffat's version of the show. The glimpse of Matt Smith's Doctor at the end of this episode has already got me excited - and to the twats who complained about the Ginger reference:
1 - FUCK OFF
2 - He's disappointed, not relieved. So how is that a negative thing?!
3 - It's a reference to his earlier disappointment in The Christmas Invation
4 - FUCK OFF AGAIN
I'm sure he will be amazingly brilliant. I loved the: "I'm a girl" bit. And, you know, he's quite hot. But as much as I look forward to the future, RTD OBE and everything he has done for the show will be greatly missed. This final episode had everything that was good about RTD OBE's revamp - laughs, tears, gay jokes, Wilf...
It.
Was.
Fantastic.
Total Score: TEN out of TEN
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