I had planned to stop with these blogs. But I'm sitting in my Box Room, surrounded by my newly acquired presents, stuffed from eating too much chocolate pudding, literally unable to decide which DVD Box Set to watch first... So here I am.
I feel like I'm doing something CONSTRUCTIVE if I write stuff on here, however tedious it might be to read.
*DRUMROLL PLEASE*
IT'S... My annual critique of the year just gone. The highs, the lows, and everything in between.
Apologies in advance for the dismal-ness of it all. 2011 hasn't been all that splendid, TBH.
What Did You Do In 2011 That You'd Never Done Before?
Erm... Got made redundant. Actually enjoyed a trip to Blackpool. Actually enjoyed a trip to Nottingham. Watched a gig at Hammersmith with Kirbymoreside WITHOUT epilepsy getting in the way! Went to Wales. Had a barbecue on a beach. Stole from Tesco. Actually kept my Photo Diary, three years after setting it as a New Year's Resolution. AND SENT 'PARADISE' TO THE BBC!!! Finally!
Did You Keep Your New Year's Resolutions, And Will You Make More For Next Year?
My New Year's Resolution was not to be alone for Christmas this year which, of course, I didn't manage to stick to. I had a nice time, and a good ol' drunken laugh with the family. And waking up on 'Christmas Morning' (which was actually Christmas Eve) to some sexiful presents from my favourite person of all-time made it a most magical wintery happenstance. But despite all that, I was still very much alone at Christmas.
But what the hell... Let's carry it over to 2012. My New Year's Resolution for 2012 is not to be alone for Christmas. And to actually spend Christmas in a place of my own, where people call by for food and presents and alcohol, as if I were Monica Geller. A Christmas where I get to play hostess. And a Christmas where I get to wake up with the man of my dreams, open zillions of presents and drink bucket-loads of Mabiloo. Not too much to ask, is it?!
Did Anyone Close To You Give Birth?
Nope.
Did Anyone Close To You Die?
Nope, thank the Lord Baby Jeebus. (Unless Ruth Evershed counts?)
What Countries Did You Visit?
Wales and Espanol.
What Would You Like To Have In 2012 That You Lacked In 2011?
More time to spend with my favourite people. Moaning about the lack of spare time I have is like Elton John moaning that he doesn't have enough TACKY SHIT IN HIS MANSION. But somehow this year has flown by, and there are people I love who I've barely seen. So more time, better spent. That's what I want.
What Date From 2011 Will Remain Etched Upon Your Memory, And Why?
10th September 2011, because it was completely perfect. And very drunken.
What Was Your Biggest Achievement Of 2011?
Not letting the bastards grind me down! It's been a shit year, all told, but somehow I haven't let it drive me too far down the road of self-pity and down-right depression. I've still managed to have some great weekends away, random days trips and drunken nights of prettiness, despite all the work-related troubles, and that in itself is quite an achievement - given how badly it's affected me.
What Was Your Biggest Failure?
Being unable to run the Brighton Marathon, despite employing a personal trainer - (NOT) Derrick Evans - and travelling all the way to Birmingham to train (and drink champagne) with my fellow runner, Lord & Lady Bexifer. I was gutted. Okay, a mahoosive part of me was relieved, as I don't know how on God's green earth I would have actually managed it. But I WAS gutted. Yet ANOTHER goal not met. Chalk it up.
Did You Suffer Illness Or Injury?
Unable to put any weight on my ankle, I ended up in hospital where they had piss-all idea what was wrong with me. It happened again a month or so later, but with my knee instead. Same deal. This time, all manner of blood tests and X-Rays (including one of my chest!) were taken. Doctor Tittyfuck thinks it's GOUT. Old, port-drinky, red-nosed fatty pensioner disease. GOUT. Luckily it's not resurfaced since May-ish time. I've obviously been eating less stilton and fois gras...?!
What Was The Best Thing You Bought?
Where Did Most Of Your Money Go?
Probably on random trips - Blackpool, Allhallows, Alcudia, Wales, Nottingham, Brighton, Chalfont & Latimer...
What Did You Get Really, Really Excited About?
Finishing PARADISE after so many years of re-writes and re-plotting and changing it beyond recognition twenty-twelves times over. It's done. It's a finished THING and it's ready to take its first tentative steps out there, in the real world. Scary as fuck, but exciting all the same.
What Songs Will Always Remind You Of 2011?
Lady Antebellum - Need You Now
Bruno Mars - Marry You
Bruno Mars - Grenade
Ke$ha - The Harold Song
Adele - Set Fire To The Rain
Christina Perri - Jar Of Hearts
Compared To This Time Last Year, Are You:
I - Happier or Sadder? - Sadder
II - Thinner or Fatter? - Fatter
III - Richer or Poorer? - Poorer
(Quite a shitty turnaround since my last questionnaire...)
What Do You Wish You'd Done More Of?
Saving my pennies. I moved out of the Bromley Mansion into my Box Room (of 'depressing' fame) in order to save money to help with getting on the property ladder or affording a lavish wedding (LOL). Instead, I seem to have blown it all on Malibu and random weekends away. Nada regrets, though. Blackpool, Allhallows et al were SUCH FUN!
What Do You Wish You'd Done Less Of?
Eating! I've put on quite a bit of weight, and it's very expensive buying an entirely new wardrobe to compensate for this!
Did You Fall In Love In 2011?
Constantly. Every time we were in the same room together. Over and over and over again: "Let no one who loves be called unhappy. Even love unreturned has its rainbow" - JM Barrie. (Yeah, the Peter Pan dude)
How Many One Night Stands?
None.
What Was Your Favourite TV Programme?
This year seemed to be a golden year for TV. Luther may have lost some of its lustre by writing out the superb Psycho Ginge (she wot looked like a duck) but a new MENTAL came along to take her crown as Most Barmy Murdery Person On TV... Stephen Rea's GATEHOUSE from The Shadow Line was a sublime turn, and the show in general was one of the best things about 2011.
Doctor Who whacked the 'crazy' up to 11 this year, but it sort of worked. I loved the extra cliffhangers and just how intricate it all was. It certainly benefits from repeated Box Set viewing.
Exile, Black Mirror, The Fades, Misfits, a much-improved Skins... 2011 was quite a sexiful TV year. But my favourite TV programme of the year has to be the final series of SPOOKS.
Six episodes of twisty-turny, heart-stopping, heart-BREAKING wonderfulness that bought a close to one of the finest shows Auntie Beeb has ever produced. I cried solidly for the last ten minutes. No matter what people may say about the distinct lack of a happy ending, no one can deny that it was the PERFECT ending for a show such as Spooks - where loss has always been its main theme. I was genuinely bereft by the closing scenes. Loved it.
Do You Hate Anyone Now That You Didn't Hate This Time Last Year?
It's not in my Christian nature to hate people...!
What Was The Best Book You Read?
How To Be A Woman by Caitlin Moran - Wearer of mahoosive hair, my favourite TV reviewer since Richard Arnold (JOKE, natch!) and scribe of the only thing to bring joy into my Friday Shift at work: Celebrity Watch in Times2. Utterly hilarious, rather thought-provoking and liberally sprinkled with the 'C' word, it's an honest and fun look at her life, and at female-types in general. Also includes a moving section about how she realised she was in love with her soon-to-be-husband which made me weep inside and out. What's not to like? Do a purchase of it.
What Was Your Greatest Musical Discovery?
Bruno Mars was my great obsession this year. Not only is he an extremely pretty young gentleman, but his album is somewhat amazing and his live shows are a wholly uplifting experience. Hearing GRENADE live - twice - was surprisingly thrilling. It was the extra drums. All songs can be improved ten-fold with extra drums.
What Concerts Did You Go To In 2011?
Bruno Mars - twice. As the above answer may have hinted at. Tom McRae IN A CHURCH, inches from my face and my wandering hands. He played Hungry Like The Wolf. Bizarre.
Sadly, that was it this year. Not even a Jonas Brothers gig to tide me over. I hope 2012 yields slightly better results.
What Was Your Favourite Film Of This Year?
The Inbetweeners Movie. 'Culture' be thy middle name.
What Did You Want And Get This Year?
Some really nice, random, manic, fun, GENIUS trips away.
What Did You Want And Not Get This Year?
A marriage proposal. And a dog for Christmas - AGAIN!
What Did You Do On Your Birthday, And How Old Were You?
I was older than I care to mention, and I spent the night before playing drinking games and embarrassing myself in front of (what seemed to be) 95% of the population of Wales. Then came a family meal, which was a delighful feast of lasagne. And then came '2011: The Birthday Year Of The Envelope' - which was amazingly prettiful.
What One Thing Would Have Made Your Year Immeasurably More Satisfying?
If I had NOT been forced out of the first job I have truly loved and - more to the point - been generally BRILLIANT at! You don't know what you've got until it's gone, eh?
How Would You Describe Your Personal Fashion Concept In 2011?
Whatever I could steal from a certain Plumstead-based wardrobe and successfully squeeze my man-boobs into.
What Kept You Sane?
A lovely little combination of Malibu and Prozac kept the breakdown at bay!
Which Celebrity/Public Figure Did You Fancy The Most?
TV's King of the Jungle... Dougie Poynter.
What Political Issue Stirred You The Most?
The 'Phone Hacking' scandal was of HUGE interest, given the industry I work in. Plus, I used to work at News International, and once - get this! - HELD THE DOOR OPEN FOR REBEKAH BROOKS (nee Wade).
It's an interesting issue because do the ends justify the means? If they hadn't hacked a dead girl's phone, but the telephonic device of a master criminal instead, would that have been okay? Or is it just WRONG, end of? It's not black-and-white, and it leaves the ENTIRE British media facing unprescedented change in the coming years. But for better or for worse? Will The Guardian live to regret its dogged pursuit of NotW? Very interesting. And a little worrying.
Who Did You Miss?
I didn't see Lady Bex as much as I would have liked this year. Only once, and even then our drunken night of Mrs Brown's Boys and MUCH ALCOHOL was cut short so that actual cunts could make me redundant.
Who Was The Best New Person You Met?
Every single one of my 50-odd new colleagues at Tower Hill. #OrNot.
Tell Us A Valuable Life Lesson You Learned In 2011:
Men plan, God laughs.
Quote A Song Lyric That Sums Up Your Year:
"It's a Quarter After One, I'm a little drunk and I need you now..."
-
I feel like I'm doing something CONSTRUCTIVE if I write stuff on here, however tedious it might be to read.
*DRUMROLL PLEASE*
IT'S... My annual critique of the year just gone. The highs, the lows, and everything in between.
Apologies in advance for the dismal-ness of it all. 2011 hasn't been all that splendid, TBH.
What Did You Do In 2011 That You'd Never Done Before?
Erm... Got made redundant. Actually enjoyed a trip to Blackpool. Actually enjoyed a trip to Nottingham. Watched a gig at Hammersmith with Kirbymoreside WITHOUT epilepsy getting in the way! Went to Wales. Had a barbecue on a beach. Stole from Tesco. Actually kept my Photo Diary, three years after setting it as a New Year's Resolution. AND SENT 'PARADISE' TO THE BBC!!! Finally!
Did You Keep Your New Year's Resolutions, And Will You Make More For Next Year?
My New Year's Resolution was not to be alone for Christmas this year which, of course, I didn't manage to stick to. I had a nice time, and a good ol' drunken laugh with the family. And waking up on 'Christmas Morning' (which was actually Christmas Eve) to some sexiful presents from my favourite person of all-time made it a most magical wintery happenstance. But despite all that, I was still very much alone at Christmas.
But what the hell... Let's carry it over to 2012. My New Year's Resolution for 2012 is not to be alone for Christmas. And to actually spend Christmas in a place of my own, where people call by for food and presents and alcohol, as if I were Monica Geller. A Christmas where I get to play hostess. And a Christmas where I get to wake up with the man of my dreams, open zillions of presents and drink bucket-loads of Mabiloo. Not too much to ask, is it?!
Did Anyone Close To You Give Birth?
Nope.
Did Anyone Close To You Die?
Nope, thank the Lord Baby Jeebus. (Unless Ruth Evershed counts?)
What Countries Did You Visit?
Wales and Espanol.
What Would You Like To Have In 2012 That You Lacked In 2011?
More time to spend with my favourite people. Moaning about the lack of spare time I have is like Elton John moaning that he doesn't have enough TACKY SHIT IN HIS MANSION. But somehow this year has flown by, and there are people I love who I've barely seen. So more time, better spent. That's what I want.
What Date From 2011 Will Remain Etched Upon Your Memory, And Why?
10th September 2011, because it was completely perfect. And very drunken.
What Was Your Biggest Achievement Of 2011?
Not letting the bastards grind me down! It's been a shit year, all told, but somehow I haven't let it drive me too far down the road of self-pity and down-right depression. I've still managed to have some great weekends away, random days trips and drunken nights of prettiness, despite all the work-related troubles, and that in itself is quite an achievement - given how badly it's affected me.
What Was Your Biggest Failure?
Being unable to run the Brighton Marathon, despite employing a personal trainer - (NOT) Derrick Evans - and travelling all the way to Birmingham to train (and drink champagne) with my fellow runner, Lord & Lady Bexifer. I was gutted. Okay, a mahoosive part of me was relieved, as I don't know how on God's green earth I would have actually managed it. But I WAS gutted. Yet ANOTHER goal not met. Chalk it up.
Did You Suffer Illness Or Injury?
Unable to put any weight on my ankle, I ended up in hospital where they had piss-all idea what was wrong with me. It happened again a month or so later, but with my knee instead. Same deal. This time, all manner of blood tests and X-Rays (including one of my chest!) were taken. Doctor Tittyfuck thinks it's GOUT. Old, port-drinky, red-nosed fatty pensioner disease. GOUT. Luckily it's not resurfaced since May-ish time. I've obviously been eating less stilton and fois gras...?!
What Was The Best Thing You Bought?
Where Did Most Of Your Money Go?
Probably on random trips - Blackpool, Allhallows, Alcudia, Wales, Nottingham, Brighton, Chalfont & Latimer...
What Did You Get Really, Really Excited About?
Finishing PARADISE after so many years of re-writes and re-plotting and changing it beyond recognition twenty-twelves times over. It's done. It's a finished THING and it's ready to take its first tentative steps out there, in the real world. Scary as fuck, but exciting all the same.
What Songs Will Always Remind You Of 2011?
Lady Antebellum - Need You Now
Bruno Mars - Marry You
Bruno Mars - Grenade
Ke$ha - The Harold Song
Adele - Set Fire To The Rain
Christina Perri - Jar Of Hearts
Compared To This Time Last Year, Are You:
I - Happier or Sadder? - Sadder
II - Thinner or Fatter? - Fatter
III - Richer or Poorer? - Poorer
(Quite a shitty turnaround since my last questionnaire...)
What Do You Wish You'd Done More Of?
Saving my pennies. I moved out of the Bromley Mansion into my Box Room (of 'depressing' fame) in order to save money to help with getting on the property ladder or affording a lavish wedding (LOL). Instead, I seem to have blown it all on Malibu and random weekends away. Nada regrets, though. Blackpool, Allhallows et al were SUCH FUN!
What Do You Wish You'd Done Less Of?
Eating! I've put on quite a bit of weight, and it's very expensive buying an entirely new wardrobe to compensate for this!
Did You Fall In Love In 2011?
Constantly. Every time we were in the same room together. Over and over and over again: "Let no one who loves be called unhappy. Even love unreturned has its rainbow" - JM Barrie. (Yeah, the Peter Pan dude)
How Many One Night Stands?
None.
What Was Your Favourite TV Programme?
This year seemed to be a golden year for TV. Luther may have lost some of its lustre by writing out the superb Psycho Ginge (she wot looked like a duck) but a new MENTAL came along to take her crown as Most Barmy Murdery Person On TV... Stephen Rea's GATEHOUSE from The Shadow Line was a sublime turn, and the show in general was one of the best things about 2011.
Doctor Who whacked the 'crazy' up to 11 this year, but it sort of worked. I loved the extra cliffhangers and just how intricate it all was. It certainly benefits from repeated Box Set viewing.
Exile, Black Mirror, The Fades, Misfits, a much-improved Skins... 2011 was quite a sexiful TV year. But my favourite TV programme of the year has to be the final series of SPOOKS.
Six episodes of twisty-turny, heart-stopping, heart-BREAKING wonderfulness that bought a close to one of the finest shows Auntie Beeb has ever produced. I cried solidly for the last ten minutes. No matter what people may say about the distinct lack of a happy ending, no one can deny that it was the PERFECT ending for a show such as Spooks - where loss has always been its main theme. I was genuinely bereft by the closing scenes. Loved it.
Do You Hate Anyone Now That You Didn't Hate This Time Last Year?
It's not in my Christian nature to hate people...!
What Was The Best Book You Read?
How To Be A Woman by Caitlin Moran - Wearer of mahoosive hair, my favourite TV reviewer since Richard Arnold (JOKE, natch!) and scribe of the only thing to bring joy into my Friday Shift at work: Celebrity Watch in Times2. Utterly hilarious, rather thought-provoking and liberally sprinkled with the 'C' word, it's an honest and fun look at her life, and at female-types in general. Also includes a moving section about how she realised she was in love with her soon-to-be-husband which made me weep inside and out. What's not to like? Do a purchase of it.
What Was Your Greatest Musical Discovery?
Bruno Mars was my great obsession this year. Not only is he an extremely pretty young gentleman, but his album is somewhat amazing and his live shows are a wholly uplifting experience. Hearing GRENADE live - twice - was surprisingly thrilling. It was the extra drums. All songs can be improved ten-fold with extra drums.
What Concerts Did You Go To In 2011?
Bruno Mars - twice. As the above answer may have hinted at. Tom McRae IN A CHURCH, inches from my face and my wandering hands. He played Hungry Like The Wolf. Bizarre.
Sadly, that was it this year. Not even a Jonas Brothers gig to tide me over. I hope 2012 yields slightly better results.
What Was Your Favourite Film Of This Year?
The Inbetweeners Movie. 'Culture' be thy middle name.
What Did You Want And Get This Year?
Some really nice, random, manic, fun, GENIUS trips away.
What Did You Want And Not Get This Year?
A marriage proposal. And a dog for Christmas - AGAIN!
What Did You Do On Your Birthday, And How Old Were You?
I was older than I care to mention, and I spent the night before playing drinking games and embarrassing myself in front of (what seemed to be) 95% of the population of Wales. Then came a family meal, which was a delighful feast of lasagne. And then came '2011: The Birthday Year Of The Envelope' - which was amazingly prettiful.
What One Thing Would Have Made Your Year Immeasurably More Satisfying?
If I had NOT been forced out of the first job I have truly loved and - more to the point - been generally BRILLIANT at! You don't know what you've got until it's gone, eh?
How Would You Describe Your Personal Fashion Concept In 2011?
Whatever I could steal from a certain Plumstead-based wardrobe and successfully squeeze my man-boobs into.
What Kept You Sane?
A lovely little combination of Malibu and Prozac kept the breakdown at bay!
Which Celebrity/Public Figure Did You Fancy The Most?
TV's King of the Jungle... Dougie Poynter.
What Political Issue Stirred You The Most?
The 'Phone Hacking' scandal was of HUGE interest, given the industry I work in. Plus, I used to work at News International, and once - get this! - HELD THE DOOR OPEN FOR REBEKAH BROOKS (nee Wade).
It's an interesting issue because do the ends justify the means? If they hadn't hacked a dead girl's phone, but the telephonic device of a master criminal instead, would that have been okay? Or is it just WRONG, end of? It's not black-and-white, and it leaves the ENTIRE British media facing unprescedented change in the coming years. But for better or for worse? Will The Guardian live to regret its dogged pursuit of NotW? Very interesting. And a little worrying.
Who Did You Miss?
I didn't see Lady Bex as much as I would have liked this year. Only once, and even then our drunken night of Mrs Brown's Boys and MUCH ALCOHOL was cut short so that actual cunts could make me redundant.
Who Was The Best New Person You Met?
Every single one of my 50-odd new colleagues at Tower Hill. #OrNot.
Tell Us A Valuable Life Lesson You Learned In 2011:
Men plan, God laughs.
Quote A Song Lyric That Sums Up Your Year:
"It's a Quarter After One, I'm a little drunk and I need you now..."
-
