The Time Of Angels/Flesh And Stone by Steven Moffat
"She's Mrs Doctor from the future, isn't she?"
The return of two of my favourite Doctor Who things - The Weeping Angels and Moll Flanders' unfeasibly big hair - together in one magnificent story? Oh, Mr Moffat how your wonderfulness makes me erect.
From the Female-James-Bond-In-Space-style opening sequence, to Matt Smith's genius impression of the TARDIS landing (avec brakes!) I was hooked. The Moff's scripts are plotted so tightly, sprinkling clues around like fairy dust. It's like a sci-fi Jonathan Creek - all the hints are there, our hero just has to piece them together. Preferably in enough time to save the day. The throwaway mention of artificial gravity becomes their escape route in the cliffhanger ending - nicely ruined by Graham Norton.
(What IS that man's problem with Doctor Who? He's obsessed with ruining it! First he natters all the way through Chris Eccleston's first episode, now he dances across Matt Smith's fairly substantial chin in cartoon form during the season's first cliffhanger. The man should be banned!)
The throwaway, glib story about the Aplans having two heads becomes vital to the plot, and offers a wonderful "penny-dropping" moment when the team realise the statues surrounding them are NOT statues - but Angels. The hairs on my neck - and scrotal sack - stood on end. A masterful bit of storytelling; drip-feeding us enough information so that we understand what the piss is going on, but not so that we can guess it before our hero does. Very Jonathan Creek.
The book with no pictures, for "the image of an Angel itself becomes an Angel" was inspired. And now with an Angel having penetrated her retina, POND rubbing her eye and dust liberally pouring out of it was probably the most effective visual... erm... well... effect that I've ever seen on the programme. Just horrible to watch. So a quick round of applause must go to that Danny Hargreaves bloke who is always popping up on Doctor Who Confidential explaining how he dun it.
Well done.
Great job.
Now get naked for me. I want to touch you.
It was a genuinely creepy two-parter. The picking off of the Soldiers/Christian Dudes one-by-one in the first part, and the soothing tones of Angel Bob, were distinctly unnerving. Although the latter was a device stolen from Miss Evangelista in The Moff's Library-based masterpiece. But when he explains that the Angels are making POND count to scare her - "just for fun" - it is quite chilling, and something that causes the Doctor to go a bit angry/mental. Matt Smith is brilliant at angry/mental.
He also does a stellar impression of Guardian TV Goddess, Miss Charlie Brooker. Listen to him saying "If we lie to her, she'll get all better" as Amy seems to be dying of Angel Eye. It is the SPIT of Charlie Brooker! Go watch it again on iPlayer. You won't be able to tell the two apart.
Amy's encounter with the VHS-based Angel wot becomes real achieved something that I didn't think was possible: Breathing new life into a Who Foe in a way that puts Dalek and Cybermen stories to shame. Fantastic that bringing the Weeping Angels back hasn't diminished their ability to seriously freak me out! And when they all turn their heads as Amy struggles around on the floor... Jesus wept, that was seriously eerie.
Also, the subtle counting down of The POND - "I'm five... five... fine" - was brilliantly realised. I didn't get what was happening until she got to SEVEN.
"SEVEN!" - She should have shouted that like Len Goodman. That would have been so friggin' sexy.
OH GOD... And POND with her eyes closed, having to walk through a forest of Fake Plastic Trees and killer statues... It was heartbreaking to see her so vulnerable.
Atmospheric and quite terrifying at times, the episode was also peppered with The Moff's usual flashes of incomparable humour:
"I made him say 'comfy chairs'..."
Amy's CRACK also makes another appearance - this time playing a major role in proceedings; swallowing people and erasing their very existences. And in a scene a little bit stolen from Doomsday, the Angels fall into it - the Doctor saving the day once more.
The only let-down was the scene where Iain (Monarch Of The) Glen was deaded by a statue, which should have been moving but instead was a relief, on account of him being a first-class dullard. But that's the ONLY complaint I have. It was a Doctor Who story that gripped from start to finish; telling a genius story, while also raising a helluva lot of other questions:
Who did Moll Flanders kill? Was it the Doctor? Was her unfeasibly massive hair the weapon of choice?
What is the explosion that causes the CRACK? The CRACK has gone "for now" - so how long do we have to wait? And will it tie in with the 26th June? A date that seems massively important to the overall plot, and also happens to be the date on which the final episode will air. See how genius The Moff is?! It's all plotted SO cleverly.
And as one young gentleman pointed out to me... In the scene where the Doctor is telling Amy to "remember what I told you when you were seven" he has his jacket on. But the Angels took his jacket moments before. Major continuity error? Or a future version of the Doctor? Given how intricate the storylining seems to be so far, I'm inclined to go with the latter.
So what did he tell Amy when she was seven?! Is it something we've seen already, or will we be seeing little Amelia again?
Fast-forward to the present day, and she's no longer seven; she's no longer little Amelia. She's Amy POND, and she's horny. After she's tongued the Doctor and tried to rub her Scottish Twunt up against his thigh, the Doctor realises something:
"I don't know why, I have no idea why, but quite possibly the most important thing in the whole universe is that I get you sorted out right now!"
"That's what I've been trying to tell you!" she replies
Amy POND you filthy sluttish minx-whore! Bit risque, isn't it, for a kids show?! LOVED IT, though. Literally roared with laughter.
But why's it so important that she get married? On the 26th June? Just where is this all leading? I cannot WAIT to find out!
Total Score: TEN out of TEN
"She's Mrs Doctor from the future, isn't she?"
The return of two of my favourite Doctor Who things - The Weeping Angels and Moll Flanders' unfeasibly big hair - together in one magnificent story? Oh, Mr Moffat how your wonderfulness makes me erect.
From the Female-James-Bond-In-Space-style opening sequence, to Matt Smith's genius impression of the TARDIS landing (avec brakes!) I was hooked. The Moff's scripts are plotted so tightly, sprinkling clues around like fairy dust. It's like a sci-fi Jonathan Creek - all the hints are there, our hero just has to piece them together. Preferably in enough time to save the day. The throwaway mention of artificial gravity becomes their escape route in the cliffhanger ending - nicely ruined by Graham Norton.
(What IS that man's problem with Doctor Who? He's obsessed with ruining it! First he natters all the way through Chris Eccleston's first episode, now he dances across Matt Smith's fairly substantial chin in cartoon form during the season's first cliffhanger. The man should be banned!)
The throwaway, glib story about the Aplans having two heads becomes vital to the plot, and offers a wonderful "penny-dropping" moment when the team realise the statues surrounding them are NOT statues - but Angels. The hairs on my neck - and scrotal sack - stood on end. A masterful bit of storytelling; drip-feeding us enough information so that we understand what the piss is going on, but not so that we can guess it before our hero does. Very Jonathan Creek.
The book with no pictures, for "the image of an Angel itself becomes an Angel" was inspired. And now with an Angel having penetrated her retina, POND rubbing her eye and dust liberally pouring out of it was probably the most effective visual... erm... well... effect that I've ever seen on the programme. Just horrible to watch. So a quick round of applause must go to that Danny Hargreaves bloke who is always popping up on Doctor Who Confidential explaining how he dun it.
Well done.
Great job.
Now get naked for me. I want to touch you.
It was a genuinely creepy two-parter. The picking off of the Soldiers/Christian Dudes one-by-one in the first part, and the soothing tones of Angel Bob, were distinctly unnerving. Although the latter was a device stolen from Miss Evangelista in The Moff's Library-based masterpiece. But when he explains that the Angels are making POND count to scare her - "just for fun" - it is quite chilling, and something that causes the Doctor to go a bit angry/mental. Matt Smith is brilliant at angry/mental.
He also does a stellar impression of Guardian TV Goddess, Miss Charlie Brooker. Listen to him saying "If we lie to her, she'll get all better" as Amy seems to be dying of Angel Eye. It is the SPIT of Charlie Brooker! Go watch it again on iPlayer. You won't be able to tell the two apart.
Amy's encounter with the VHS-based Angel wot becomes real achieved something that I didn't think was possible: Breathing new life into a Who Foe in a way that puts Dalek and Cybermen stories to shame. Fantastic that bringing the Weeping Angels back hasn't diminished their ability to seriously freak me out! And when they all turn their heads as Amy struggles around on the floor... Jesus wept, that was seriously eerie.
Also, the subtle counting down of The POND - "I'm five... five... fine" - was brilliantly realised. I didn't get what was happening until she got to SEVEN.
"SEVEN!" - She should have shouted that like Len Goodman. That would have been so friggin' sexy.
OH GOD... And POND with her eyes closed, having to walk through a forest of Fake Plastic Trees and killer statues... It was heartbreaking to see her so vulnerable.
Atmospheric and quite terrifying at times, the episode was also peppered with The Moff's usual flashes of incomparable humour:
"I made him say 'comfy chairs'..."
Amy's CRACK also makes another appearance - this time playing a major role in proceedings; swallowing people and erasing their very existences. And in a scene a little bit stolen from Doomsday, the Angels fall into it - the Doctor saving the day once more.
The only let-down was the scene where Iain (Monarch Of The) Glen was deaded by a statue, which should have been moving but instead was a relief, on account of him being a first-class dullard. But that's the ONLY complaint I have. It was a Doctor Who story that gripped from start to finish; telling a genius story, while also raising a helluva lot of other questions:
Who did Moll Flanders kill? Was it the Doctor? Was her unfeasibly massive hair the weapon of choice?
What is the explosion that causes the CRACK? The CRACK has gone "for now" - so how long do we have to wait? And will it tie in with the 26th June? A date that seems massively important to the overall plot, and also happens to be the date on which the final episode will air. See how genius The Moff is?! It's all plotted SO cleverly.
And as one young gentleman pointed out to me... In the scene where the Doctor is telling Amy to "remember what I told you when you were seven" he has his jacket on. But the Angels took his jacket moments before. Major continuity error? Or a future version of the Doctor? Given how intricate the storylining seems to be so far, I'm inclined to go with the latter.
So what did he tell Amy when she was seven?! Is it something we've seen already, or will we be seeing little Amelia again?
Fast-forward to the present day, and she's no longer seven; she's no longer little Amelia. She's Amy POND, and she's horny. After she's tongued the Doctor and tried to rub her Scottish Twunt up against his thigh, the Doctor realises something:
"I don't know why, I have no idea why, but quite possibly the most important thing in the whole universe is that I get you sorted out right now!"
"That's what I've been trying to tell you!" she replies
Amy POND you filthy sluttish minx-whore! Bit risque, isn't it, for a kids show?! LOVED IT, though. Literally roared with laughter.
But why's it so important that she get married? On the 26th June? Just where is this all leading? I cannot WAIT to find out!
Total Score: TEN out of TEN
-
